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Hi everyone,
I was reading an article a few days ago about the top 5 professions women should avoid when looking for a husband. The professions that were mentioned were cops, firefighters, surgeons, military personnel, and pilots. The article stated that men in these professions are more likely to cheat on their significant other and be narcissistic. After reading this article, I am very concerned because my BF of 5 months is a firefighter and an EMT. I have heard many stories from other women who have dated and/or married a firefighter only for them to cheat on them at some point during their relationship. My BF seems to be a sweet guy and hasn't shown any narcissistic tendacies, so I am not sure if I am overthinking this? Or could it just be he is still trying to gain my love and trust before he mistreats me. He told me that he would never cheat on me and that I have nothing to worry about, and for the most part I do believe him. I should also add that he does sometimes view himself highly for his career and will brag about how he saves lives daily. Idk what to do guys, I am just afraid of getting hurt down the line just because my BF is in one of these professions. I hope you all can give me some good advice.
Thank you,
Flow
"More likely to cheat" doesn't mean "will cheat." I think an EMT can absolutely be a good man. My father was a firefighter for nearly 40 years and was/is a great husband and father. Obviously keep your eyes open but I think profession is a yellow flag at most. Except for cops. Never date a cop.
If there are times that you find yourself feeling worried or anxious about it, then listen to your gut. Because even if he isn’t cheating now, and doesn’t cheat on you as long as you’re in this relationship, there is something that is making you feel that way. And though he might be doing you right, do you really want to be in a relationship that makes you anxious, rather than one that brings you peace? Also, 11 hours apart… are either of you prepared to move to be with the other, should the relationship reach that point? Once he finishes his probie year, his retirement benefits will likely be tied to the number of years he spends with that department. Would you be okay with living in his city one day? As a former EMS person, I knew some firefighters who flirted with everything that walked and patted themselves on the back endlessly, and I knew some who were faithful family men. What kind of man is he outside of his career? Does he spend the days he’s not on shift working his independent job? Is he spending that time doing constructive things to improve himself and his life? Or is he schmucking around in the bar all day? How he spends that free time is a big indicator of what kind of guy he is
I wouldn’t let an article make me paranoid about him cheating. If I thought he was likely to cheat, and it was coming from my own feelings, I’d seriously look within to why I felt that way. After mall, if he didn’t meet the standard, then I’d cut him loose either way.
I don't think I can advice you to leave or stay. Only you are with him daily. You should know him mostly, although I know how men can live secret double lives. I would say if you have doubts, trust your gut , there's something needs to be addressed in your relationship, you both need to sit down and have a deeper conversation.
His profession guarantees nothing. I am a firm advocate for snooping through a man's phone, whether you have suspicions of cheating or not. If he's got nothing to hide, he shouldn't be annoyed.
Men of all stripes and professions cheat. Priests have been known to abuse children! You cannot control or predict the future- but you can set yourself up so that you leave at the first red flag or that you can move on with your dignity and self- esteem intact. Put yourself first and follow FDS. My last serious boyfriend didn't cheat (as far as I know) but every time I felt pissed I would admire the jewelry and furniture he bought me and feel great about the fact that at least I had an impact on his wallet. Make this man invest- it won't prevent him from cheating but it will hurt him more when you leave. If you are "nice, understanding" etc, it is easier for him to walk away and easier for him to not feel any remorse because it was so low effort for him to be with you.
Thanks to those who have commented on the post so far. I forgot to mention that me and my boyfriend live in different states. We are about an 11 hour drive from each other so I am not sure if that would change anything. I guess it would be easier for him to cheat if he wanted to?