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I'm just looking for some support - 4 months ago, I met a pretty great guy. Funny, generous, educated, employed - all the basic, bare-minimum stuff covered. We had a good run for a while, but a few months in had a bad weekend where he essentially drank too much during a bottomless brunch and made a fool of himself during a weekend away. The whole ordeal led to me seeing his energetic, dorky quirks as childish as opposed to funny, and I just couldn't get over it. I came to the conclusion that I just didn't like him enough anymore - didn't find him attractive enough and didn't want to spend time with him.
Today I worked up the courage to finally break it off. He's blocked and deleted.
I'm just looking for some reassurance and a bit of kindness, honestly. He was great in all other respects and I know a lot of my friends that have settled for less would probably chastise me for ending things. I'm also 30 and really at a point in my life where I'd really cherish having a partner to share everything with.
Anyone got any FDS success stories? Met a good one a bit later in life to settle down with, or know someone else who did? Other seemingly "small" reasons you've ended things, but glad you did? It's all just happened and I'm bracing myself for the recovery.
"I'm also 30 and really at a point in my life where I'd really cherish having a partner to share everything with."
Don't. That's a weakness and as long as you don't internalize divesting from men as a core FDS principle you will feel more and more pressure to settle for scraps like your 'friends'.
Most FDS success stories are about rejecting scrotes with a laugh and a head held high and continuing living your best life alone if necessary. Some do find a seeming-HVM but even there, the real success stories are either at the very end of a long life where he constantly demonstrated his value in the evolving ways of age, or more often when he reveals his true colors as a scrote a few years down the line and our sisters leave his ass in the dust with no second thought. Those are FDS success stories. Flip the script. You do absolutely not need a man to share everything with. Or for anything else. You're happy alone and if a man wants to be in your life he should fight tooth and nail to be there and stay there while you sit back and vet.
You have no idea if he is "great in all other respects" because a few months in is still mask time for these fools. I don't know what he did when he was drunk but it doesn't matter because you noticed he is immature and that you don't like him. By "share everything" I hope you mean your select thoughts and feelings because your assets need to stay your own. You should keep your stuff and have your own money even if married. You know why, you just happened to notice your HVM was a clown within months but there be women out here refusing to notice it for years and then they write on forums about being trapped. My success story: Been dating a HVM for a year and change. He is still fine. I tell him the stuff that bothers me every day and he responds as he should. I have my own place, stuff, bank account and pets. If he acts up I will leave and not think twice about it. My life is for me. He knows this.
I'm also 30 too and don't feel bad because you definitely did the right thing. I dated someone like that in college and the public foolishness really is easier to tolerate when you're younger. We deserve partner's that we genuinely respect 😎❤️Trust your gut feeling. I remember other people glaring at me because I wasn't completely "taking care of him" when he would drink so much (he was falling over and people expecting me to carry him back up myself)
I was thinking how unfair it was - you end up becoming their handler and won't even get to enjoy drinking/partying/events. Our nicer younger selves might have "given them a chance" but now you're wiser and dodging bullets. That's awesome! Keep it up!
I get where you're coming from and think there's nothing wrong with wanting to share (within reason) your life with someone. All human beings are hardwired for connection with others, and most people want romantic love - that's not a weakness, though some men treat it that way. I'm sorry this happened, and that you're feeling the disappointment of hope dashed, but definitely don't settle! Also remember that it's possible for someone to be in a relationship and feel lonely - and that's arguably much worse than being single.
If you settled you could have spent the rest of your life feeling irritated by this guy. Years wasted with the wrong guy. Don't gaslight yourself or let your friends who settled for less gaslight you to doubting your decision. You made the right choice 👸👑