Raising a HVM

Good for you! That's when you need to start teaching boys high value behaviors, not wait til they want to start dating, like many parents do (or not at all).

I feel this. My little man is 10 about to be 11 and I have a 1 year old girl. I’ve never forced him to give hugs/kisses if he doesn’t want to and he knows to ask if it’s okay if he can touch someone. He asks if he can have a hug instead of just giving one. If my daughter doesn’t want to be picked up or cuddled he respects that without me telling him because it’s already been taught. However other adults in his life get bent out of shape if he politely declines hugs/kisses for whatever reason. It’s always the adults that get upset. He has even defended his sister telling someone she didn’t want a hug. Don’t worry about whether or not he turns out straight or gay. These HVM qualities we are reaching out boys are basic human requirements. It’s sad that we have to label them as HV instead of just being a basic decent person.

That’s just one of the reasons I joined FDS. I want my son to be a HVM. The world doesn’t need anymore NV and LVM

I love your intentions and I wish you all the luck in the world. Raising HV men is probably the most effective way to reduce toxic masculinity in our culture. I feel obliged to emphasize the importance of the earliest period of development in this process, because my career is in many ways rooted in my firm belief in how critical those early days are. I think the worst narcissists are that way in part due to having their crying ignored for extended periods of time in the first 6 months of infancy. I think there will come a day when science convinces the public of this concept well enough to shift a ton more equity of pay to childcare professionals. The field will get more competitive and attract more talented and dedicated people who are experts in their craft. If this happens, I bet we would see rates of mental illness plummet.