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Edited to shorten and clarify:
*Had a relationship for under 6 months
*It was good until it wasn't
*He seemed resentful about not being 50/50 despite initial talks
*Friend tells me maybe I should go 50/50 on at least the first few dates to signal "nobody owes anybody anything" then he can choose whether or not to pursue me and pay for dates from there . And maybe I can prevent getting so emotionally invested, and he will be less bitter about spending anything on me
*i was left reeling. I find myself blaming myself for everything that went wrong, even though everyone said he was the one who hurt me
*I'm mad at myself fornit leaving at the first one or two red flags (my therapist didn't help and made excuses; he had some real challenges but it didn't excuse how he treated me)
Update: *these responses have helped a lot. Thank you all
Going 50/50 does not signal to the man that she doesn't owe him anything. Quite the contrary. In his mind, he will still expect things because now he didn't lose any money.