Please make me see sense .

Girl, no offence intended but wtf are you doing here? He’s elderly, married, offers nothing and is preying on your vulnerability and compromised mental state. As the other person here stated, therapy is in order, and indeed it ought to be a female psych.

Babes, what the heck are you doing? ok let’s go through this-

1. you are vulnerable and in a delicate mental state

2. went to this TRUSTED MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL HOW SWORE AN OATH TO TREAT people IN NEED Of help

3. he proceeds to flirt with you/give you signals that convey interest

4. you interpret these inappropriate indications as something that you would like to pursue

5. he is married, what could become of this but being a side piece to an old married letch?

6. do you seriously think that you are the first and ONLY female patient he has done this with or tried to?

this man is preying on you. And you deserve better. Please know that and cease contact with him.

You need therapy. With a female therapist.

He is a predator. Block immediately and report him to the board of doctors. You are in a very vulnerable state, please seek female professional help immediately and schedule an appointment as soon as possible.

You know what your story reminds me of? Those movies where a girl lives in isolation without any romantic connection to anyone and no exposure to any male that is not family (for example rapunzel). When she comes out of that isolation, the first man that she meets, who gains her trust and that she has positive interactions withs, ends up being someone she has strong feelings for.

Thats what I believe this might be for you emotionally. When we haven't met our emotionally and social needs for a while and haven't felt happy in a long time, we do find ourselves desperately attaching to the one source of that human connection that we find.

Being in a low point of depression in life makes us so emotionally vulnerable.

Second that he's a predator and bad news. There's literally nothing worthy of love about a guy who does what he does. This is a "No contact" type of situation.

He’s 55 and he will die long before you. He’s also married, don’t do this to yourself.

The reason you are attracted to him is very likely because you are projecting a fantasy on this man that has very little to do with reality. Might also be worth looking into the patriarchal propaganda of women beeing rescued by a man out of their miserable state and trying to deconstruct that. But obviously after you did some serious therapy and soul searching and get out of the down state you are in. You need therapy and you absolutely need to stay away from dating anyone as long as you're this unhappy with your life because it will open the door to abusers. Please listen to the ladies here and level up first before attempting to date.

I agree with the comments already made, but also wanna add that when you see a therapist, you’d want to talk about why one of your primary reasons for ending this, was not wanting to upset your father.

You’re being groomed. ANYBODY in a vulnerable situation can be groomed. The human psyche is elastic in that way. Younger demographics are just more susceptible to grooming due to underdeveloped brains and limited experience. But you are being groomed too. Reframe this. He’s not your savior, he’s your predator.

You desperately need a therapist. Take a good hard look at what you wrote. At no point in your decision making does the fact he’s married, your doctor, a family friend and an old man factor in. Not when it comes to what should turn you OFF about him. This is a man who is morally lower than scum and you’re more concerned with the confused feelings and anxiety he evokes and THAT is your primary factor to stay away? In the ocean of shit that is this scrote? Go see a (female) therapist.

Big mistake #1: You shouldn't have told him that the reason you can never see him again is because you are attracted to him.

See how he just manipulated it in his favor? Used it as a segway to ask for an affair? He felt like you opened a door and he can't miss the opportunity.

Instead you should have told him that you cannot see him anymore because you found a female doctor that you prefer and blocked him. We are animals, men and women cannot be friends. Once you get the warning signs, you must create a lot of distance and not allow an opportunity to get closer.

2nd of all, it's really big that he gave you a will to live and got you out of depression. In our modern world we are more separated than ever and we actually make fewer intimate friend connections that energize us so we feel renewed to live life. You may have noticed this during the pandemic.

You really badly need to find some friends and/or men to date. So, that you get that dopamine and oxytocin from other people (not through sex, through excitement and laughter) and you bond with them and not this scrote, geriatricdoctor.

A person that becomes your only source or oxytocin/dopamine when you're really depressed would obviously cause a strong desire to attach in you. This is why sex too early clouds your judgement. You become addicted to those happy hormones. Especially when you can't get them from anywhere else.

This is we need to learn to be happy alone or as a social single person, so that we don't find ourselves getting feelings for a low value male that we consciously dislike because he is the only escape from our loneliness and isolation.

Personally, I think you are too isolated in this phase of your life and that is what allowed this to happen. We need to fulfill our social needs and find healthy sources of happiness before we allow a man to get close to us.

One thing that only you can know and figure out is, do you have a thing for older men outside of depression and loneliness? Are they a preference for you if you could pick any man in the world? Does a man being older make him more attractive to you?

Or is it less about the way he is and more about you going through a time emotionally where anyone asking you about how you feel and trying to cheer you up makes a big impact?

Because you need that answer to figure that out how to fully get over these feelings.

The last important thing I have to say is that if you have the opportunity, I hope you send the screenshots (if you have them) of him suggesting an affair to his wife. It's the fds way. Unless of course, his wife is the type to see those screenshots and completely blame you and try to publicly drag you.

A doctor flirting with a patient? Meeting a patient for coffee? Openly talking about starting an affair with a patient? He can lose his license. There is a reason there is a rule against doctors dating patients. There’s a huge power imbalance…Like others said, run. This man is dangerous.

This man clearly doesn’t respect the boundaries that should exist between a doctor and patient. This already is a red flag, but I’m getting a predatory vibe from your description of his actions and words. Like he’s deliberately using his position to access emotionally vulnerable women. And the fact that he’s your father’s friend? Girl, no. It’s good that you stopped seeing him, but I think you also need to pick a different doctor, and get some therapy.

So he is a traitor, and he can go home at night to someone he vowed to stick with through thick and thin and stab her in the back, lie to her, lI’ve a double life. no regard for morals, truth, no integrity, no loyalty - a liar. You realize what you’re saying is this man believes no pain to anyone else is too much for him to get sex and that’s all you are to him, a Body. He sees you as worthless And he sees himself as a worth at least 2 women and surely more as the opportunities arise. Nobody is ‘committed’ to multiple women because there’s no commitment that involves multiple people. He believes he’s worth multiple women, a user, abuser and a loser. You want to be part of his buffet of women he has on rotation and make his ego explode? Are you worth 1/2 a man? Also don’t conspire in harming the innocent party his wife. This leads people to suicide that’s how painful it is, you made as well help him kill her - many people wish they were dead when they are cheated on.

Find a therapist, work out your self worth

And

Report him to his professional body

Everyone has great advice I just want to add that it might help you to Google what it means to be limerant.

If you think of him a lot and feel in love its usually limerance and you have to be aware of it and gain control of it or it will lead you to some iffy relationships.

Take a step back, realize you're fantasizing. Realize the logical facts (which you already have) and keep your guard up and protect the love you have to give. The man must earn your devotion over and be a suitable partner for you on paper.

This man is dangerous, cut off all possibility of contact with him. Like others have said, find a therapist if you find you’re unable to let it go. You’re fantasising about him probably, projecting some positive expectations onto him. Take a look at this thread, maybe some comments will resonate https://www.thefemaledatingstrategy.com/forum/ask-fds-public/how-to-get-rid-of-annoying-unrealistic-crushes

I won’t pretend to be pious and high and mighty here, because I’ve been the other woman. But I can tell you, pursuing this man is gonna cost you! Your dignity, self-esteem, and other stuff you can’t even foresee at this point. It’s like throwing a stick of dynamite at: his wife, your father, your future and most importantly, your self worth. It’s been YEARS since I’ve been the other woman. I went on to marry someone afterwards and when he cheated I felt like I deserved it and stayed far too long after. Now every relationship that doesn’t work out, I blame myself and think karma is out to bite me in the ass. I still haven’t forgiven myself. And I know that most of the blame is on the married/partnered person—but I was complicit and knew what I was doing but couldn’t even imagine the long-standing consequences. I probably paid for it more than the married man I was carrying along with.