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My friend of over 20 years so not the easiest to just walk away. Not to mention how hard it is to make friends these days!
She is definitely a pick me. Super available when single and not so much when dating except mostly to vent about man troubles. I can be quite reserved in my reaching out genuinely as well because it often seems one sided. The friendship I would say has always been very much on her terms, though she has been supportive through many things in my life though not always the most empathetic.
I am getting older now and wiser and less tolerant of bull-shittery. This is what is making me annoyed.
She calls me the other day and I usually get back to her within an hour or so of contact unless I'm just away from my phone. I call her right back and she rage vents for 20 minutes about her court battle. I am supportive because that is what friends are for.
Fast forward to today I reach out to make plans to hang out since we now live closer to each other. No response all day.
Now with some people I know this doesn't bother me, people are busy, life happens, we are in our thirties as well. But the thing is I know that when she wants something from me or is dealing with some bs she is very fast to respond. This makes me feel used and not a priority in her life.
It almost feels like a power trip for her to leave me hanging. I know she's on her phone all day, when we are hanging out she's checking it. There's no reason for her to not reply other than she can't be bothered. Edit: I should mention this kind of happens often, but I've used the excuse she's just busy for the longest time.
Asking for thoughts here. Am I accepting crumbs? Because sometimes it really feels like it, or am I being a needy friend?
I blocked and deleted my longest "friend" after 15+ years for similar behaviour. On her phone constantly, but would "forget" to reply to me. She enjoyed the power and control since her world had become very small over the years. People change. Just because she was a good friend 20 years doesn't mean she still is.
You’re not her friend, you’re her emotional support animal 🦔
Why even entertain someone like that? A friendship isn’t one sided like that if she barely pays you attention unless shes ranting about a scrote.
i have dropped childhood friends when it turned out they were only interested in using me and not even respecting me as a person. time doesn’t mean shit if they don’t even value the time you’ve spent together or value you in general.
drop her and get your energy and effort back
Lose all of the users in your life who are not reciprocal. I intentionally detached from the woman who was the maid of honor in my wedding years ago, and also my other former best friend whose PickMe acting out in public often endangered me. I got rid of 2 male friends of 15+ years recently for saying some real dealbreaker things about women as well. Saying goodbye to these users opened up space in my heart and life for an incredible new girlfriend to enter my life about 21 months ago. She’s been a game changer for me, and we are both kinda old and at the age where people feel like making new friends is harder. Out with the old, in with the new.
yup left my friend who got really angry at me once on a road trip for being rude to these truckies who were obviously acting creeepy towards us and hitting on us ( mind you my frined and i are in our early 20's) and said "i always like to see the best in people". Thats when I knew being friends with her can lead to serious danger