Partner seems hyperfixated on what I don't have.

Him commenting on other women’s physical appearances already makes him a LVM. He gave you a back handed compliment: strike two. He’s mansplaining down to you about your comment about his statement: strike three. Three strikes. You know what to do.

You should ditch him and move on, as he’s a low value scrote who doesn’t respect you and after three years, you are well into forever girlfriend territory. But before you kick him to the curb, be sure to compliment him one last time. “I like those pants on you. They make your dick look bigger.”

Please leave! This guy will destroy your self-esteem and slowly keep getting worse. You are only 21. I’m so happy that you found FDS this early on. Girl, run. Block and delete for good. Don’t even give give him a Reason why, because he will start to manipulate you. Gather your belongings and pack your things when he is it home and Just leave and never get in contact with him again. Not giving him a reason will make him eat himself alive. Men hate being ignored. What a loser 🤢

IMO he is gaslighting you, and your instincts left you to post for a reason. I am so sorry. I would consider this a deal-breaker and leave (after gathering all of your belongings and take care of your other ties to him legally). If someone truly loved you, they wouldn't criticize a body part of you like that (especially something he knew about from Day 1. That is disgusting).

There is no such thing as "withholding sex." Withholding something implies that it is something the person is owed. Your employer can withhold your wages. The lottery can withhold the cash prize you won. You can NOT withhold sex from your partner. Ever. Access to your body is not something that can be earned.

This is called ‘negging’ look it up. A manipulative tactic to lower your self esteem. Unfortunately these views don’t change. Under no circumstances can you change another. You can only change yourself.

To add to what the others have said about diminishing returns - staying with a LVM like this literally changes your brain and makes it harder to recognise LVM with these traits in future, so you’re literally creating more work for your future self by staying. This is because as humans we habituate to our circumstances and normalise them so that we can live without constantly being in cognitive dissonance or disassociation. So while this issue has pinged your radar NOW, after another six months of it you’ll barely notice - and because your neural pathways have been changed to “oh this is normal”, you won’t even notice that you don’t notice. And THAT is the scary part, because even if you don’t see a future with this man, it’s setting you up for failure with future men, making it less likely to be aware of such negative traits in other LVM, and making it more difficult to communicate and recognise HVM because your brain has adjusted to you being degraded as “normal” so HVM can feel “abnormal”. Save yourself the work of having to rewire your brain - this takes time, energy and diligence that you could be applying to other things - and get out whilst this behaviour is still registering as wrong.

That wasn’t a backhanded compliment. It was a neg. He’s toxic and probably a porn addict.

Your partner is supposed to make you feel more confident by being nonjudgmental and supportive. Someone that makes you doubt yourself should not be given the title of friend, much less partner. You're going to do what you want to do at the end of the day, but I'm telling you if you leave him and don't give him a reason, you will save yourself from guaranteed mental decline and more. Say bye bye and immediately notice the sense of shelf esteem and control you recoup.

Nope ... men who criticize women's bodies on television are misogynists

If they neg you... you know what fds would say

Do you really want to have that thought In your mind because the man you have committed to put it there?

He must fly away

I had an ex do this, it started small then it became his entire view of me by comparing me to other women and constantly belittling me for the features I did not have. It does not end well so for your sanity I think it is best to break it off.

Your gut tells you what to do.

You’re so handsome considering you’re already balding I like it when you are freshly showered, your BO isn’t as noticeable It’s good that you didn’t eat so much today, you used to look like those fit attractive guys when you had a more appropriate diet It’s good that you don’t talk so much, it’s less noticeable that you aren’t as intelligent as the other men in our friends group I’m not great at begging admittedly but something breaks in them when you do it and I no longe have empathy. They can’t take it half as much as they dish it out.

You're 21. You're not gonna marry him. Yeet him into the sun and walk your fine ass out the door like Lizzo intended

Do the same to him And see how quickly you will get into a big arguement

As a fellow small-chested woman, these comments aren't harmless. They're on purpose. He's bitter, resentful, whatever — It's not your problem. He's trying to passively aggressively communicate to you that your boob size isn't acceptable for him. Tell this bitch how far he can pound sand

I’m really sorry, sounds like your boind sided and obviously after 3 years invested. the fact is this man looks at women as body parts. Toys there to titillate him, not humans with bodies for themselves. This man is porn minded and not capable of love.

Even if you're not marrying, it gets worse. You can find wayyyyy better fun elsewhere. What are you getting from him? Are you happy 20% of the time or 90%? I'd say you can list plenty that doesn't appeal to you about him, like he's listing about you. He's tearing your self esteem down first, subtly, then next step is full on emotional abuse, then physical. You can do better. You're missing out on heaven elsewhere. I personally would wake up, empty everything from flat while he's out, change your number, and vanish forever. That will mind fuk him for a long time. It always does.

Break up.