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I don't know if it's my hormones or the circumstances I'm in at the moment but recently I've been feeling so down about myself and my looks. I signed up on online dating apps and the conversations were rather meh but I still didn't want to lose hope.
I deleted the majority of the apps and have one app left (bumble) but I want to make more female friends and put my focus on that. So I'm mostly on bumble bff.
I don't even know if I want to be in a relationship. Maybe I would feel happier and more fulfilled if I had more female friends.
But the reason why I wanted to make this post is that I'm self-conscious about the way I look like. I made a post already about dating on a weight loss journey but losing weight is so difficult and frustrating. Also I'm wearing ceramic braces and I don't even know if any man would like the way I look like. Because they see a couple selfies that I look good in but I don't know how they would react if they would see me in real life.
There's 2 men I planned dates with but I'm so self-conscious that I just want to cancel them. But I'm also wondering if I'm self-sabotaging this. Because they're putting in the effort but I seem to push them away and my heart is just not in it anymore.
What should I do?
Edit: I canceled both dates. :) I told them it doesn't have anything to do with them but my heart is not in it anymore and I don't have the energy to date at the moment.
Cancel them both.
Going into a date feeling anything but secure and confident in yourself leaves you vulnerable and open to manipulation.
Keep on your journey and work on your self-love. I'm in the same boat. I'm working on losing weight, becoming healthier, and falling in love with myself. You need to believe that you deserve love and are worthy of respect, that you are the prize, that it's a privilege for a man to know you. Low self-esteem puts us at risk and makes us vulnerable to any attention, and we might end up settling for crumbs and being used and disrespected. Dating when you're not ready could set you back or make things even worse.
Good on you for not going on those dates.
Men are able to smell low self-esteem and can easily weaponize it among women.
I was in your position too. At some point, I realized that most of them look for a some sort of flaw and hark on it until you submit to them. I deleted those apps, and it’s been so good. Albeit quiet and lonely but really healthy for me.
I will also add then when you DO feel ready to try : take breaks when you need to . You’ll know when it’s time. Lots of respect for the self reflection!