No sex since we got married 5 months ago

If there isn't a genuine medical condition at play here (which he would have no reason to hide) a man who isn't enthusiastic about sleeping with you is getting it somewhere else. Probably porn, cheating or he's gay... or a combination of all three, who knows?

But the reasons don't actually matter. Do you want this to be your life? Begging your husband for attention and sex for the next 30-50 years? No? Then - as harsh as it sounds - it's better to call it quits now than to waste any more time on a man who is obviously not that into you.

Time to confront him. “What’s happening?” Ultimatums work.

Divorce is better than being miserable. 1 year of sadness is better than 40. If anyone asks and it comes to it, you can vaguely tell them “he changed in an unacceptable way”.

It seems the ship has sailed. You can't force desire. He is completely avoiding the topic so no amount of communication will make a difference. And you don't want pity sex, either. You want him to genuinely want you and there is no apparent reason why he can't except that he just doesn't want to. Prepare your exit. You don't have to divorce tomorrow but you can start the process of mentally, emotionally and financially detaching from him.

My bet is he's gay. Closeted men do this ALL the time. They get a wife for appearance sake. They aren't comfortable coming out of the closet so they marry a woman to give a straight front to the world. They don't fuck you as often, but they do have a man or men on the side to satisfy that gay side. I would be checking his internet history, emails, apps, texts. You'll find the truth there.

don't try to save the marriage. leave him. he doesn't even bother to communicate what is happening. meanwhile you find yourself persuing him tirelessly only to be disappointed. he doesn't care about you and it's affecting your mental health. i'm sure you deserve someone better. start the process to detatch from him ASAP and leave.

Are you wealthier than him, or stand to inherit a lot?

He may have married you for the money as well as being gay or having something to hide.

You poor thing. You deserve better.

Well I am sorry about this. That is gaslighting at it's finest. He is testing if you will put up with this. Also he seems to be enjoying the attention and getting a rise out of you hunting after him for sex. (Making appointments and then ignoring obviously hoping for a reaction !) Probably learned such power dynamics in childhood, thinks he can let loose and show his true colors now that you are married. Give him a reality check and move out. Get your peace back, date someone else if you want.

Don't let a toddler rule your life and put a verdict on your sex life and self esteem without trial. Sorry but the nerve of this guy..

Cheating, gay, porn addiction, or not attracted to you. Possibly all four, or a combination. If he wanted to, he would. Don't beg--dignity is something that you will never regret preserving, no matter the situation. Time to assess if this is how you want to live your life, or if you want another chance to find happiness. Having to beg your spouse for sex will certainly take an emotional toll over the long run. Is this how you see yourself living your life? Time for some hard deep thinking and truthful assessments.

If a man no longer wants sex and there is no hardships that is altering his mood then I’m outie. Men always want sex just not with you when they say no sex for no good reason besides not being in the mood. Women they find attractive would never be denied, so that says a lot about them. Don’t stick around leave. When men don’t treat you like they used to it’s time to go. Unless you want to get cheated on.

I agree with what the other users said, plus I’d like to add that you might want to read the passage about sex in Lundy’s “Why does he do that?”. Some men withdraw sex as a manipulation tactic to get something from you.

I think sex and the city touched on this pretty well w Charlotte's first husband. The Madonna/whore complex is strong w this man

This is pretty awful and my heart goes out to you. Before the no-sex thing what was the sex like before? Was he able to hold a boner? Was he into it?

I've experienced all diff types of men, from low testosterone (you can usually tell when this is the case bc they will look out of shape or weakly thin), too much jacking off to porn (they're still usually able to have sex but just can't get off), gay (they won't be able to hold a boner but they will buy you presents and treat you kindly for appearances), and last but not least the withdrawal of sex due to enjoying you suffer (control, manipulation, hardcore mental problems here). I've also dealt with 1 man in particular that had a really good job but was out of shape and he would take a penis pill that made it work fine. I didn't know at the start he was taking penis pills though or how actually common they are. But if a man wants to have sex with you and can't due to being out of shape most will find a way with pills.

I lived it. When I confronted him he said he was a porn addict. Then he claimed he was asexual. Then he blaimed his bad back. So many excuses. None of them was completely true. I think he was closeted.

A friend of mine got married and her husband wouldn’t have sex with her for 3 months. She got a divorced right away. Men like him regardless of the cause medical or not, do not deserve a wife. There is no reason for you to explain yourself or COMMUNICATE. He doesn’t care about you or your feelings. He is either a poem addict, gay, or has the Madonna-hore complex. A high value man will make sure his wife feels loved and is satisfied all the time. Men who leave their wives with no sex and no satisfaction are not men. They are the lowest of the barrel.

Talk to a lawyer and get out before you have kids and ruin the beautiful years ahead with this scum.

I don't know what this man is using you for, but he is using you for something.

I would say, from experience, that a man who is not interested in sex with you from the get-go is a non-starter. Nothing can force him to want you in that way. This applies to women as well. If we're not attracted, we're not attracted, period.

You'll probably end up getting divorced anyway. Why prolong the torture? Leave this scrote, whatever his issues are, behind in the dust. Your self-esteem will thank you for it.

Sounds to me like he’s cheating, or he has Madonna-whore complex where he can’t envision himself fucking his wife.

I really can’t think of any other reason a man wouldn’t want to have sex.

Sorry but I would personally divorce given that you guys are having such sexual problems so soon.

Move out. Once he is treating you how you like WHICH INCLUDES ORGASMING you can move back in

A woman should never have to beg, or frankly even really ask, for sex from a man. He should want you so badly that you can barely keep him off you. Something is not right with him. If you can't talk to him directly about this, you should try marriage counselling. I know everyone in the comments says break up immediately, but I would say keep trying to keep this conversation going. If you cannot work it out at ALL, then yeah this might be a dealbreaker.