New male friend interested in my trauma dumping?

It’s ammo for them. And it is kinda easy for them because they all know how the system has it set up where a lady is very very likely to have a lot of trauma, and to not have found the right people or can’t afford to find the right therapist to talk to it about.

plus they get to make you feel closer to them cause you opened up to them.

fds says to make them think you have been treated nicely by everyone in your past, if I’m correct in understanding it.

Sucks to put that barrier between yourself and men, but most of them will use any of your trauma to their advantage and don’t care about you as a person. they have to really pass some tests before you can be real with them.

Trauma fishing in urban dictionary: "A seductive, clever way to get into bed with a lady. Fishing for deep-rooted trauma from a women's past to unveil her daddy issues and eventually get them into bed with you" Men are fucking horrible.

You don't tell them a thing. You let them think you've led the idyllic Norman Rockwell life. They must earn access into your darkest secrets- and darkest secrets they must be. "It's not fair, but it's okay... I'm gonna make it anyway"... Let that be your mantra. Really! We females YEARN to bond, and we do so by sharing our trauma. But, BUT! Men must prove themselves worthy of our bonds.

I'm not sure if this applies here, but there's a phenomenon where you're more likely to think positively of someone when you do favors for them. It tricks your brain into thinking "I have to like this person, otherwise I wouldn't be carrying this heavy thing for them." or "I got them something from a high shelf, so why not do another favor they asked of me?"

When a person is insistant on learning about your personal problems, and you're not in a high-risk scenario, it's totally normal to be hesistant. I wouldn't be spilling secrets to strangers on the internet if I wasn't anonymous, so why is it any different from a real-life aquaintance? You're protecting yourself.

He could want fodder for later, or as a barganing chip ("I listened to your problems, so you must like me enough for a date now, right?") Regardless, if you get the ick, get the heck out of there.

Remember that most men are on the power/control axis and most women are on the cooperate/collaborate axis. Trauma sharing gives men an “in” and allows them to traumatize you further if they are abusers wearing a mask at first. Even if you have had abuse/trauma, that one white lie is for self-protection. Keep on leveling up and eventually you’ll believe in yourself so hard, LV/NV men just don’t come around at all or are run off quickly because you can spot them and you’re just on a whole other level than they ever could be.

Also, we don't trauma dump here at FDS.

I think it's about creating that fake bond. When you open up too soon it creates this false sense of being closer than you actually are. You're right to dislike it - it's because you understand that there's social boundaries and expectations, and unless it makes sense contextually (like, it's a group therapy session or something like that), there's no reason for someone you JUST knew to start asking you about deep personal issues and trauma. As someone else said it's also ammo for later.