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My native language is not English. sorry in advance for mistakes.
We met in high school when I was 16. He seemed like a nice person at first because he was telling me what I wanted to hear. I started dating him and our relationship lasted 1.5 years. As time went on, I got to know him more and learned the following: he used drugs (he never let me try. That was the only good thing), he stole, the movies and TV shows he liked to consume were about gang-crime, he lied, he said he went to prison for stabbing someone ( I'm not sure how accurate it is), he was making fun of girls at school, his family life was so bad... actually I can count a lot. Of course it hurt me too. he choked my throat, burned my arm with a lighter, spit my food secretly and i ate, he stole my money, he tried to do anal secretly during sex but I told him he couldn't find the right place. he actually knew the right place.
I didn't break up with him because I was being bullied at school at the time. I had no friends, even the teachers didn't like me, and my family put pressure on me. It was the most difficult period of my life because of my father. so I needed someone to be with me and I was telling him all my problems. it made me feel good.
I changed my school because of the problems I had at school. I lived a life from home to school - from school to home. The time I spent with my boyfriend began to wane. I could not live a full life. When I watched his life from afar, I started to get jealous. He used to text me every day, but he stopped texting me. This time I texted him constantly and waited for him to write me. he was barely texting. I couldn't bear the pain in my heart and left him silently. I didn't know anything about FDS back then. I did not block him. I was waiting for him to send messages like "I'm sorry, i missed you". A week later he wrote "how are you". "I'm fine" I said. A month later he wrote "how are you". "I'm fine" I said. "Don't hesitate to write to me when you have a problem," he said. I saw it. I did not answer him again. and he started texting me "how are you" every month. It went on like this for 1.5 years. I discovered FDS. And I blocked it. He last called me 1 month ago at night and I blocked him from the calls. I am 20 years old now. I was a liberal feminist and now I'm a radical. I got self respect. I focused on myself.
There is something I am wondering about. Why does he rarely make small calls and texts? DURING 3-4 YEARS.
His calls and texts are/were most likely to extend his abuse, he wants to remind you that he's still around and that he still has power over you. Every time he does it, it reminds you of what he did to you in the past. He's hoping that popping back into your life and being "kind" and asking how you are, you'll tell him all your problems and rely on him again so that he can hurt you.
You did well by leaving him and focusing on yourself. Just keep ignoring him, it probably drives him insane knowing you're strong without him💖 and just remind yourself that he was an abuser, any "kindness" is all fake.
Just making his rounds, most likely. Probably texted several other exes as well. Don't respond.