Others have told me this is a bad sign because it's what happened to another person they know. This comment was the kiss of death because the other person will try to find what the "other shoe" is that drops. What do you all think?
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It just seems like a backhanded compliment to me. Like they're assuming no one wanted you when it's entirely possible that you didn't want them. What if you didn't want to be "snapped up"? Women are not passive objects there for the taking. Also they're making themselves look more gracious for noticing your potential and seeing what supposedly no one else did. So yeah, not a great comment at all.
Two things:
He makes you seem like property he DOESNT deserve- as if he stumbled across a bargain. "XYZ for half price?! Score! How did no one else see this?!"
It's a trap to get women to admit their flaws/insecurities, justifying why she hasn't been "picked" yet. From this, LVM get control over her and an ego boost.
I agree with the other comment who said it’s a backhanded compliment. These people can’t imagine a woman being single by choice and being comfortable with that, may be a form of projection as well because they would not be able to be that way, so they shame people who can handle being single.
It rubs me the wrong way. It makes me feel like theyre putting me in the cool girl box. Then when I do something that a cool girl wouldn't do the guy is gonna be like ohhh this is whats wrong with you and why you're single hehehe!
I also think it’s a way of them fishing for insecurities. I don’t like the comment in general but I would just stay confident with something like “they’ve tried”
It's a neg. The same as "Why are you still single?" I never know how to respond to this. Sometimes you can just smile and giggle and go along with the ruse that it's supposed to be a rhetorical question. Sometimes I say something like, "What a funny question."
I honestly never realized this was a neg while I was dating, only that this comment made me uncomfortable. My response at the time was maybe some men just suck? If you're saying I am cool and I feel like I am cool there shouldn't be a problem.
It all makes sense now. They want to bring you down a peg for being a happily independent woman.
Only one man has ever said this to me, and he was the worst I’ve ever met. He showered me in compliments and acted like I was a goddess and he was totally stunned that I wasn’t in a relationship already.
The second I disagreed with him about something, a switch flipped. He called me young and stupid, a host of other things, sent a psycho string of unanswered messages, then told me to never speak to him again (as if I would’ve anyway) and said “I guarantee you lost the best thing you ever had.”
The second these guys see what they see as a flaw, it’s, “OH, THAT’S why you’re single!”
Avoid avoid avoid.
I guess it wouldn't make me feel bad because I would think it means he feels lucky to have me (but I'm also really naive and overtrusting. If your gut feeling is telling you it's a red flag then it probably is).
English not my first language…what does this mean?