If that was me I would have dumped his ass immediately! Nothing good comes from having a relationship with a scrote who likes men. Nontheless a scrote who lied about such thing.
Immediately no to this entire fucked up, secret life having man who loves men who didn’t care enough to mention such a hugely important biographical fact to his so-called girlfriend of 8 months. Run away from men who love men and who hide major biographical facts! What’s next? A secret family with 2 kids?
Never ever will I play with any of that bi sh*t with men. Almost dated a scrote who paints his nails black at age 32. Most likely he was gay or bi cause he mentioned poly.
Oh fuck this shit. She thinks she needs a therapist? Of course, Reddit blames women for everything and never holds men accountable. I feel sorry for her honestly.
He is 1000% pulling this shit in both directions, too.
Who wants to bet that he is seeing men on the side (and has been for their whole relationship) and conveniently forgets to mention that he is bi and is in a relationship with a woman to them?
I would even understand not mentioning the suicide in the beginning of the relationship (that's a dark, tragic and rather personal detail) but the fact that he's bi (and not just in theory but has actually been in relationships with men) and has been married before should have absolutely come up in the first few dates. He kept it secret because he knew telling her the truth from the beginning would hurt his chances with her, no other reason.
Wow at the audacity. I also have a late lover and I send messages to his now unused number when I miss him. But rn I still don't want to date anyone. I think it would be unfair for the new partner if I'm still doing this. I'm also still involved with my late lover's family, and I know this is something that i should inform to a prospective partner, as this could be a dealbreaker. This really gave me perspective that men don't care for such thing (making the new partner feel secure, be honest and open), they only do what serves them most.
I think OP is burying the lead! Some guy not wanting to talk about it isnt a big crime. His real problem is that he's gay and I have no idea why ppl are focusing on the dead part and not the flaming gay part.
I would not dump a guy for not saying his a widower, I think the real crime is not saying he is gay enough to get married to a dude. Bisexsual my ass, that dude is gay. Not that there is something wrong with that, lol, disclainer disclaimer, but its weird to focus on widow status when there are bigger fish to catch.
Apparently you do think there's something wrong with being bisexual. Because you literally state that only a gay man could marry another man. You don't believe bisexuality is a thing. Which is kind of closedminded of you. It's cool if you're not bisexual. But some people definitely are. And just because they enter a long lasting relationship, doesn't mean they stop being bisexual.
Im not trying to be mean, but the way I see it, once you get married, you are kinda locking in a choice. Unless you get married with the intention of eventually get divorced, cheat or do some threesome deal, how so you "practice" bisexuality? You can ID yourself anyway, but in RL everyday world, the dude in the OP got married to a man and seemed really willing and ready to live and reach old age with his chosen man, and that, in RL, as a gay man. Yeah, shit happened but that was out of his control, but the dude in OP didnt seem ready to divorce anytime soon. Could have cheated with a woman, but that is evil no matter your orientation, or could have plans with for polycule with a girl, which is possible but quite unlikely. So in RL terms, dude was ready to ride and die like a gay man. And someone else in the thread said he only wants her for a baby. Im not ready to jump that far, but it is sus a guy who was quite willing to be in a gay marriage, hopefully forever, to change gears like that.
I admit I could have worded it better, but I do have RL friends who claim to be bisexual in 20 year old marriages and not apparently in your faces kinkiness, so thats just spicy straights in my book. I apologize in advance if it sounds too mean, hope I worded it better.
If Jay has been dead 5 years, ........how is his cellphone still working? Who is paying for it? And why?
If the cellphone no longer works, then how could he send those messages to Jay??
Wouldn't those messages get returned to sender with "sorry this number is no longer in use".... something??
Also is it just me, or is it not a red flag that his former partner offed himself? Depression is a common cause of suicide. And being the victim of narcissistic abuse is a common cause of depression. And if this man stood anything to gain (materially) from his husband's death.... Who knows. Doesn't sound very usual.
Anyways, still not a big fan of looking through someone else's phone. Unless they literally give you their phone, unlocked. That's basically them saying they're cool with you looking through it.
Also it's better to ask than to accuse of cheating.
His anger wasn't the best response. But her accusing him right off the bat, no questions asked, was also not the best communication.
Yeah, neither of them should be in a relationship.
But in the grand scheme of things, I don’t give a flying fuck that she looked through his phone. All I care is that this scrote hurt her and that’s unforgivable.
Unknown member
Apr 26, 2023
Honestly I think he's well within his right to not tell his girlfriend of only eight months that his ex husband killed himself. He should have told her about those outings and that the people he was with were old friends though, would have cleared up the confusion of him sneaking around.
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This is Jay my "husband" 🤡
If that was me I would have dumped his ass immediately! Nothing good comes from having a relationship with a scrote who likes men. Nontheless a scrote who lied about such thing.
Immediately no to this entire fucked up, secret life having man who loves men who didn’t care enough to mention such a hugely important biographical fact to his so-called girlfriend of 8 months. Run away from men who love men and who hide major biographical facts! What’s next? A secret family with 2 kids?
Never ever will I play with any of that bi sh*t with men. Almost dated a scrote who paints his nails black at age 32. Most likely he was gay or bi cause he mentioned poly.
Bet he's using women to fulfil his breeding fetish. Once the woman has his kid he'll happily go back to being gay.
Oh fuck this shit. She thinks she needs a therapist? Of course, Reddit blames women for everything and never holds men accountable. I feel sorry for her honestly.
He is 1000% pulling this shit in both directions, too.
Who wants to bet that he is seeing men on the side (and has been for their whole relationship) and conveniently forgets to mention that he is bi and is in a relationship with a woman to them?
I would even understand not mentioning the suicide in the beginning of the relationship (that's a dark, tragic and rather personal detail) but the fact that he's bi (and not just in theory but has actually been in relationships with men) and has been married before should have absolutely come up in the first few dates. He kept it secret because he knew telling her the truth from the beginning would hurt his chances with her, no other reason.
Yeah, no, I believe none of his lies. A former SIL would not be calling an outing to honor her late brother a "date" to his widowed husband.
He's creative, though, I'll give him that.
Wow at the audacity. I also have a late lover and I send messages to his now unused number when I miss him. But rn I still don't want to date anyone. I think it would be unfair for the new partner if I'm still doing this. I'm also still involved with my late lover's family, and I know this is something that i should inform to a prospective partner, as this could be a dealbreaker. This really gave me perspective that men don't care for such thing (making the new partner feel secure, be honest and open), they only do what serves them most.
I think OP is burying the lead! Some guy not wanting to talk about it isnt a big crime. His real problem is that he's gay and I have no idea why ppl are focusing on the dead part and not the flaming gay part.
I would not dump a guy for not saying his a widower, I think the real crime is not saying he is gay enough to get married to a dude. Bisexsual my ass, that dude is gay. Not that there is something wrong with that, lol, disclainer disclaimer, but its weird to focus on widow status when there are bigger fish to catch.
If Jay has been dead 5 years, ........how is his cellphone still working? Who is paying for it? And why?
If the cellphone no longer works, then how could he send those messages to Jay??
Wouldn't those messages get returned to sender with "sorry this number is no longer in use".... something??
Also is it just me, or is it not a red flag that his former partner offed himself? Depression is a common cause of suicide. And being the victim of narcissistic abuse is a common cause of depression. And if this man stood anything to gain (materially) from his husband's death.... Who knows. Doesn't sound very usual.
Anyways, still not a big fan of looking through someone else's phone. Unless they literally give you their phone, unlocked. That's basically them saying they're cool with you looking through it.
Also it's better to ask than to accuse of cheating.
His anger wasn't the best response. But her accusing him right off the bat, no questions asked, was also not the best communication.
Honestly I think he's well within his right to not tell his girlfriend of only eight months that his ex husband killed himself. He should have told her about those outings and that the people he was with were old friends though, would have cleared up the confusion of him sneaking around.