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I am wondering what you think about this. I don't want to sound insensitive because I think I suffer from some sort of depression, and during my PMS my crying urges intensify. However, I have an issue with my brother. Oftentimes when I want to talk to him, he often starts crying and gives the other person (e.g. my dad) the benefit of the doubt over me. He feels sorry for my dad because the latter is old but my dad and I bitch a lot. I have resigned myself to not talking to my brother about something unless it is absolutely necessary.
My brother's pusillanimous behavior perturbs me. On the one hand, men who have no feelings or compassion are utterly revolting. On the other hand, men who always cry or sound like they're about to, drive me up a wall. I struggle with crying urges often and I don't want to be insensitive to someone else's emotions, but what do the ladies of FDS feel about this sort of thing in men?
From what you've shared, He's emotionally manipulating you for male benefit. It's gross. Your ick feeling is 100% spot on.
There's a difference between a man being emotionally sensitive in a healthy way, and having capacity for vulnerability, vs what your bro is doing.
it depends on the context and the reason behind their crying. is it manipulation? are they actively trying to make you feel guilty for osmething that isn't really your fault? Or is it because of physical pain? Or even deep emotional pain, say for losing a loved one?
i've had a man cry for "ruining my trip" because i got upset he flirted with another woman in front of me (we were together, although not in a serious relationship). he cried to manipulate me and to make me feel like i was being unfair to him. he pretended to regret his actions and a few days later he literally said "i regret apologizing to you because i didn't do anything wrong".
so i'm sorry, but i don't trust men who cry, and i don't trust men who don't cry. and i don't care if i'm being insensitive. i do judge them not for crying, but for the reasons why they cry. so that's what you should pay attention to. your brother sounds like someone who uses crying as a way to avoid conflict/difficult conversations, and that can't be healthy.
They use it to manipulate, like the scrote who cried when I demanded monogamy.
I don’t really care too much if men cry, if they’re being disingenuous that’s what pisses me off. Most men are disingenuous and fake regardless if they cry or not. But in this situation because it’s your brother its a very different situation. If my younger brother was crying infront of me excessively, I would be for sure concerned and I would refer him to a therapist or psychologist.
It's great when men can show and manage emotions effectively. Most of the time, however, their emotions are weaponized. Males are much more manipulative than women and girls, and it's been proven that males often use tears to manipulate others. That's why they accuse us of being manipulative when we cry, even though women and girls rarely do this compared to males.
a therapist would be making so much money off men's tears... IF they went to therapy.