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I decided I want to pause online dating and was transparent with people. I told them it's not because of them but because of me.
To be honest, deep down I wasn't feeling any of these men. They were nice and respectful, but SO passive.
Most of the men who would ask me out, suggested going for a walk. And this annoyed me so much, because the least they could do, would be to invite me to lunch. Or idk, going to a museum, playing minigolf, etc.
I even talked about my favorite restaurants but these guys didn't suggest we could go there.
Some men even suggested picking me up with their car. I told this one guy that I didn't want to go for a walk after work. I told him I'm exhausted and I don't want to walk around with my laptop, water bottle and my notes, and told him it's too hot for me to walk around outside. But he wouldn't get the hint and told me, he could pick me up from work... a stranger who I've never met in real life.
I said no, and said I'm not feeling this anymore and then he sent me a huge paragraph telling me I'm tossing these men around like toys and he told me he hates online dating and the fact we women can pick and choose and drop men any time we want.
I noticed that anytime I rejected these men, they would sent me these long paragraphs, to a woman they haven't been on a date on, and complain how cruel, superficial or heartless I am. This constant whining and blame-shifting. Not once have they asked themselves why I'm canceling on them.
And my gut feeling always keeps telling me that I dodged a bullet there.
Are the men also overly sensitive when you reject them? Even when you haven't even seen them in real life?
I understand that online dating is frustrating for men and women. But not once have I sent paragraphs to a stranger and attacked them for canceling whatsoever.
Don’t send them a rejection message. Delete them. Walls of angry text from losers are not worth reading. You owe these men nothing, even more so if you haven’t even met them yet. Passive scrotes who suggest pathetic, lowball dates aren’t worth your time, so delete them and reclaim your time and energy.
Males do not want to improve themselves so that they can get a woman. They're going against all males in nature where they must fight to prove they're the best, most dominant male. For thousands of years, every male was given a wife whether he deserved one, or not, due to the patriarchal laws that oppressed women. Now that women have jobs and aren't free slaves issued to males when they hit 18, males are melting down. They didn't see their grandfather or father fight to keep their mothers around, so why should they? Just leave them alone. Walking isn't a date. Plus, it's a good way to get dragged into the woods and raped. If a male can't pay for dinner, he can't afford to be a husband or father. Next.
Add this to another reason we don’t accept coffee or walk dates: Men who default to these low-effort, cheap dates are the men who get the “Sorry, no chemistry” message after every single date. This frustrates them because they don’t want to accept that in most cases, this message means they’ve got what you described — a very passive personality completely lacking in confidence and it instinctively repels us. I know that when I send the “no chemistry” message, this is what I’m saying. I don’t actually expect on chemistry on a first date, but I don’t think a man will respond well to me saying “Your personality turns me off.”
So becaue these men get rejected so often, they dig their heels in and declare “Well, FINE then!!! These women aren’t getting a thing out of me until they earn it!!” They don’t want to acknowledge or even consider fixing the root problem, so they just blame women for being “picky”
So yeah, invitation to a coffee or walk date — especially a walk date — can mean “I get rejected after every single first date I go on, so you shouldn’t bother with me.” Next time a man invites you for a walk or a coffee date, just unmatch him. It’s going to be a waste of time and when you inevitably reject him, you’ll have to deal with the passive aggression. Walk Date men react like that if you haven't even met and they react like that if you've been on several dates with them. Giving them a chance doesn't stop the hissy fit when you ultimately decide to end it.
I don't have much in the line of advice but I can't get over how lazy and passive modern men are, not to mention cheap. What is it about modern men that all they can think of is meeting for coffee, or a walk, or Netflix and chill, or a drive in their car?! And that's assuming that they ask you out on a date which not all of them will do. It's headwrecking!
It is our prerogative to pick, choose, and drop men as we see fit. Not every man is deserving of a woman - that’s just the way it is. We do ourselves a disservice when we tolerate their whining and lack of effort. Men like that are fundamentally lazy and must be weeded out of the gene pool as they’re not fit to be husbands let alone fathers.
Sweetie, just unmatch with no explanation. You don’t owe them more time or energy
They can't handle being rejected. That's why they lash out.
In the future, I'd just ghost, don't respond, unmatch etc. Don't explain.
I used to always explain, and I'd want the last word all the time. It's hard to stop sometimes. I'm working on it.
Back when I used online dating and used to explain, I'd always get men writing paragraphs just like you ! These men never think they're the problem, which is why they will die alone and sad. No woman in her right mind would want these lazy bums.
I remember once a guy asked me to coffee and I asked if he could do better than that , because it's a waste of time. He actually had the audacity to say that he didn't know me and I shouldnt expect more.
So this is what they think of us when they do this. We're not worth it.
In the future, just let them wallow in the sadness of not getting a response
I get that a lot, one dude asked If I was angry and I responded dismissive because I can look the way I want, He didn't take it quite well and as I walked I could hear him continue to swear his head off and calling me all kinds of things but I wasn't bothered, That was a typical manlet who never heard no from his mommy.
I was just thinking about this as I deleted my dating apps for the thousandth time.
Men lack self awareness. Understatement of the century, I know. But they are sooooo convinced they’re all “ nice guys” , and when they don’t get their dream doormat , they cry.
Often they cry to US about the injustice of it all . How many times have you unwillingly played therapist to these scrotes ? I lost count, when I was a pick me .
Now I see the light.
Just dumped a guy that would ramble on and on about all the times he was supposedly done wrong by every woman he ever met .
Block and delete! Rinse , repeat !
I’ve never been asked out but i’ve always thought it’s a good idea to reject a guy before actually going out as a test.
So I was asked to travel two cities over to hang out. Long story short, I asked him for a ride since I’m waiting for my car to be fixed and he said I’d have to get up there myself. Lol
Bruh… I’m not commuting two cities over. I flat out declined. The thing is, I know he’s doing a shit test to see if I will go out of my way to see him and will probably do something last minute just hours before, but jokes on him because I got plans to see my friend around the time, and it would be too close in time for me get home to get ready. Lol
I don't do online dating but when I did two years ago I would ghost, block and delete with no remorse or thought for any of these men. need Be ruthless with your time and energy. Do not project your empathy onto men. Do not explain to them. Their lack of empathy makes them angry that women won't comply with them. They view women as lesser than. Most men have trouble viewing women as real flesh and blood human beings with feelings. It's about their feefees and tiny weewees. Everything is on their term. Walks dates, smh 🙅♀️. They want a free prostitute. Most of them are too broke and lazy to afford the $300 per hour that call girls charge.
What is the reason why you are engaging in OLD? You can stop. Any time you want. Just stop doing it.