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Sometime ago, I made a post about my belief that men cannot and do not want to love women. A personal experience of mine was one of the many reasons why I made the post.
When I was in university, there was a cute guy in my class who I became friendly with when we were put in a group to work on a group assignment. We were friendly but the more time went on, he’d say subtly flirty things to me which made me think he was interested, but because he never asked for my number or tried to progress our friendship into anything more, I didn’t think too much into it because by then, I understood that a guy will make it known that he likes you if he actually does. I just smiled when he would flirt and continued the friendship with him.
About 6 months into my degree, I found out from a mutual friend that this guy had been interested in this other girl on our course for months. The mutual friend told me how the guy had always been interested in the girl and how they were now officially boyfriend and girlfriend. I was really shocked because I had no idea this was happening. I knew that they were friends but had no idea something romantic was brewing between them. It turns out, from what my mutual friend also mentioned, they had been talking for months and clearly, somewhere along the line, things got romantic between them. He was building something with her while flirting with me in class.
In that moment, it reminded me of my thoughts on if men can really be purely interested in just one woman seeing as this guy apparently, liked this girl “so much”, yet that didn’t stop him from flirting with me.
This is an example of what makes me not trust that men can really and actually love a woman the way women can. How can you really like someone while flirting with someone else? Surely if you really liked the person a lot, you wouldn’t be interested in someone else, even in a non-serious, this-is-not-going-anywhere-type of way? Right? What do you all think?
This personal experience and many others I’ve personally had and seen happen to other women are why I have my guard up with men and believe that they can’t or just don’t want to be committed, fully, to just one woman.
What do you all think? Have you had the same or similar experiences?
The guy you mentioned in your post is a scrote. Unfortunately we live in a society (patriarchy) that enables scrotes and even makes life easier for them. That's why there are so many LVM! Men who refuse to level up, insisting on using women. They are incapable of loving anyone and always choose the easiest, scrotiest option in all that they do. Don't let them get you down. I've met a LOT of scrotes over the years and the best thing is to cut them off. I know it can be hard to deal with when you seem to be surrounded by LVM but not every man is like this. A lot of them are, but there are (a few) exceptions. De-centre men from your life - they shouldn't be something you need to worry about. Level up, cultivate HV friendships, excel in your career and follow your hobbies. Continue to judge men by their actions, not just by their words. Eventually you'll meet HVM, who should treat you like the queen you are.
I think you're spot on. I don't really believe in the traditional concept of romantic love. I believe there is lust and there is friendship, the combination of the two is what people call romantic love, but lust is temporary (or on and off) and friendships with the opposite sex frequently collapse, or were shallow to start with. I think that if someone is loyal and monogamous, it's because they choose to be, not because they naturally feel that way. True for both sexes, however men have a higher drive towards promiscuity and are less likely to be loyal/monogamous without intense social pressure and shaming. Call me jaded though as I have given up on dating entirely, maybe ask someone who still has some optimism left haha 😅
I have definitely had similar experiences with being cheated on, having guys in relationships try to cheat with me, and being left for other women, until they try to come crawling back later saying they never stopped loving you 😂
even if they figure out they don't like your personality, men will still flirt with you to try to get laid - they can hate you and still do that. This guy was trying to see (at least) if he could manage to get you in bed while he saw what happened or not with that other girl.
Tell me about it! I get married men hitting on me *constantly* and the best boyfriend I ever had ends up being married!