Marriage is a PIeCe of PaPEr

If your husband leaves you and your kids you at least get alimony. If your boyfriend leaves you and your kids (and you don't live in a common law state or you do and get a shitty judge) you are screwed.

I would never ever have kids with or compromise my career or life in any way for a partner I am not married to. If you want me to risk my earning potential or compromise my health for your benefit, I need air-tight assurances it's not going to blow up in my face if you turn out to be an idiot.

It sounds harsh and unromantic but if more (or all) women adhered to that, there would be way less misery in the world.

EDIT: And another thing many people don't think about: As a girlfriend, you have no legal standing of any kind. If your boyfriend ends up in the hospital and is unconscious, the doctors will not let you to him, not let you make any decisions or tell you a single thing about his condition because you are legally not a relative. Any estranged cousin he hasn't seen in 20 years has more rights than you do. Yes, even if you have been together for 30 years. If he dies and there is no will, anything that is not explicitely in your name is gone, even if you built/earned/made it together.

A friend of mine and her long term boyfriend were living together in Italy when he died suddenly. Because she was not his wife, she was interrogated harshly for days, was unable to access any funds whatsoever as they were in his name, was unable to get autopsy reports, make preparations for his remains to be returned to the US, attend his subsequent funeral in the US (she is not a US citizen either) and his estate remains unavailable to her a year and a half later despite the fact that he had written her into his will. She was unable to access their online business because they were not married. She was left penniless without an income and homeless in a foreign country and under investigation. That paperwork protects both wife and husband from the horror she had to go through and is still going through. It was a mutual decision by both of them not to marry but she regrets that decision deeply. Insist on that paperwork and that ring. It is much, much more than symbolic.

Marriage is about commitment, about taking responsibility and accountability for the person that you commit to.

We know that men like to have the least amount of responsibility and accountability. Men want to fuck and run away. Men don't want to be responsible for children or chores or your feelings when men hurt them.

The inner pickme says "I will do whatever my partner wants to make him happy. If not getting married is what it takes to make him stay with me, I will do it."

It's ironic to give up marriage, the ultimate, formal sign of commitment and responsibility so that a man can show you informally that he stays committed and responsible to you. A man who actually loves you and wants to be with you will not find the idea of marriage to you distasteful. A man who is unsure about you or finds you a convienient mommybangmaid wants the option to cut and run with no loss to him.

Why did George Cloony finally get married instead of staying a fuckboy forever?

Most women have a story of a guy who wouldn't commit to them, and then married the woman who came after them. Men don't actually have an objection to being married to a woman they want to keep. Men just give you excuses so that you accept those excuses and stay around while the man looks for the woman he actually wants to be married to.

Think about social media. A man who is proud to have someone as his girlfriend shows her off. A man who wants to hide his status will not have pictures of his girlfriend.

The reason there are so many divorces is not because the institution of marriage is useless or designed to fail, but it's because women don't do enough vetting before they get married.

If a man ever utters these words to you, it's time to move on. But before you do, throw them right back in his face. "If marriage is just a piece of paper, why are you so opposed to it?" Watch how quickly and desperately they backpedal as they scramble to find a way to square that circle.

If marriage is what you want (and I firmly believe that most of us do and should want marriage), then do not compromise or settle for a man who doesn't "believe" in it. Chances are great he would actually marry his dream girl (and it would be his idea) and you just aren't it.

Regardless, and much more importantly, he isn't your dream guy. Toss him back and move forward with your head held high, queen. HVM are the marrying type, which is why the single ones are so very rare.

Marriage can enable you to immigrate to a whole new country. Most countries won't let you immigrate to your boyfriend.

I have a friend like this, so I’m interested in seeing some of these answers. She’s always wanted to marry her bf of 10+ years but he doesn’t want to marry her. She’s pregnant with her first child and he still won’t do it. I think she’s just given up the hope so she says marriage isn’t what she wants. But they are planning some “symbolic Ceremony” but they won’t be legally wed. which I don’t really understand the point of that. If you’re gonna have a “wedding” why not just actually get legally married

I just made this post the other day about an example from the celebrity world of a former girlfriend being denied 🙅🏽‍♀️ even a lick of assets from the estate of her dead rapper boyfriend DMX. https://www.thefemaledatingstrategy.com/forum/pickme-culture/a-judge-denies-dmx-s-forever-gf-desiree-lindstorm-who-lived-as-a-common-law-wife-the-right-to-file-or-reap-any-benefits-as-a-legal-wife

When not in a marriage, all of those things your friend waved away depends on your local jurisdiction. Legal rights that just automatically come with marriage (like being automatically your spouse's next-of-kin) may not at all or only with a lot of paperwork and filing with legal entities.

-if you have a legal MDPOA or HCP (health care proxy) form, then hospitals will follow your wishes. Doesn’t matter if you’re a spouse, a friend, or a girlfriend. -while marriage is often beneficial, for a lot of older, financially stable, child free women it may not make sense. They may be more at risk for becoming a nurse & purse and would be better off maintaining somewhat separate lives from their partner.