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After going out with a 50 year old single dad and figuring out I was safe, only to find out he had a 3 year old (when does it end??) and having to hear about his ex (in a negative way), and a man who is still living under the same roof with his ex “because it’s best for the child” (or are you just broke? and so you’ll be thinking eventually to move in with me?), I had to just set a rule for myself.
I was hoping to get confirmation that ruling out single dads- unless the children are grown (I am of the age where men in my range could easily have children in their early 20s by now)- is not unreasonable. I myself do not have children.
I hesitate to say it because I do not want to disrespect the single moms here, but it’s just too much extra vetting to do. It’s not that I don’t like children- I love children. But what with the visitation arrangements and being expected to step in and be an authority figure/on mom duty for a child that is not mine in any way, and potential bad blood with the ex I have to hear about…it’s too much. At least when the children are no longer minors, it takes out a lot of the hassle. But, I’m not sure if I’m being a jerk.
Also, at the same time, I am sure there are women who won’t date for less than 6 figures, and I certainly don’t make that yet I’m not offended, but I’m not sure if my own standard is something I should keep to myself, when speaking to other moms IRL?
I’d keep a decision not to date single dads to yourself because you’re right, other moms may misunderstand and take offense. That being said, single moms and single dads are entirely different species. A woman with small children desperately doesn’t want to have to break up with their father. If they aren’t together any more it likely means he has a lot of low value characteristics you haven’t observed yet, cheated or was otherwise abusive. I can imagine some alternate scenarios, but literally all the single dads I know got there as a result of their own terrible behavior. Source: former single mom, know lots of kids and their parents, remarried to HVM
It is not too much to ask whatsoever. Signed, a single mom who only dates dads if their children are grown or nearly grown. Never apologize for your standards.
Nope. I have that on my dating profile. 😂 I don't have kids either and I will never date a single dad ever again. Too much baggage. I have no interest in raising kids. I feel like single parents should seek each other out anyway bc they have similar lives.
Meh. I’m childfree and I don’t care if I hurt people’s fee fees when I lay a hard boundary of NOT wanting to date single dads nor single moms. Be honest with yourself and imo, it’s probably just easier to date younger if you are looking to find cf men.
Never apologise for your standards. Realistically it might narrow your options, but like what FDS podcast says, better to be single than be miserable / be with a LVM / or someone who’s not suitable for you. Self awareness is important. If you know certain kind of shit is just beyond you, and you don’t want someone with a certain type of baggage, so be it. Dating is not charity. No woman should feel like they have to date someone who earns less, someone they’re not attracted to, someone with too much baggage for them (however one defines that) or whatever standard they find it incredibly hard to accept. Regardless of what any woman says here, the above is the principle to live by. Most of us are not 100% HVW - some of us still have a lot of work to do. Your standards might trigger some insecurities in other women - so be it. If you don’t wanna date a single dad, it’s fine. Similarly a single mom who expects all HVM to want her is having a low-value mindset. Not everyone has to like you, or him or her or me. “So be it” is the new mantra.
You set our own standards and date whoever you want. Why would I care if you want to date single dads or not?? Just don’t tell a single mom to settle for less or not have her own standards. My standards are my standards and I won’t lower them to please a child free woman or any man 🤷🏻♀️ you do you, I do me. Women need to stop taking it out on single moms. We left for a reason. Signed, A Single mom who had an arranged marriage at a young age due to culture/religion but left because she deserves better and her child deserves a happy healthy home.
There is nothing unreasonable when it comes to the standards and boundaries you set for those you allow in your romantic life. No-thing. It is *your* life and you get to decide who and what you want in it, especially and even more so, if you plan on letting them have access to your body and displays of love and affection. You don't have to share your standards with others, whether you trust them or not. They're not set for other people to approve or disapprove of, they're set to make your life easier and so that you get the maximum benefits out of your interactions.
It would be a damn rare single dad that I would consider dating. Do not feel bad for avoiding them. I believe there may be some rare gems out there (some of my single mother friends have found happiness with HV single dads) but it is perfectly reasonable to rule them out! Totally personal choice.
I’m in my 20’s and don’t date single dads either, because they’re too immature.
Is my english that broken or this was written by a guy? (Last paragraph made me confused)