.png)
I have recently learned that I always find someone to crush on even though I let it go nowhere because I am aware that it is not a good match or that I can do better.
The current guy that I have a crush on is someone I see twice a year so I have control over watching myself crush and I can see a pattern in my thinking and feeling. I am also realised that I am starting to get over my previous crush who I see more often and hence there is a need for new fantasy to "feel good" about.
Here are my introspections:
I lust about them
I think of them wanting to marry me
I think of how amazing, beautiful, inteligent, funny, talented they think I am (I am actually all of these things and more)
I think about their friends and family telling the crush and myself that they appreciate me and they think I'm wonderful woman.
I think about how luck they are to have me, and how I make their life better and they make mine better too.
I think about conversation and dates they would take me which were thoughtful and romantic
I think about intimacy and how this man will be able to understand me
Basically, when I crush I don't think about the guy. I feel as if I have a crush on myself because most often, I'm projecting my good qualities on this imagination dude because I don't know them. I feel as if I have these crushes because something is lacking in the way I treat myself and how others ought to treat me.
I treat myself exceptionally well. But if I'm wanting to be appreciated, valued, loved etc how can I do this for myself?
How I do solve the need for these emotions which I am projecting in the form of a phantom of a crush just to satisfy the urge?
I hope you understand what I mean.
All advice is welcomed :)
I'm dealing with this too, it's like having a nice little fantasy to soothe my stress. But I have to remind myself this man could be a creepy redpiller or even worse bc men really are that disappointing 90% of the time.
I feel that projecting your good traits onto them so bad 😭 They don't even deserve it.
To cope, I take myself out on HV dates. Dates I'd accept with a man like a nice restaurant or I'd go take care of myself well by getting a massage or getting my nails done. It's nice to show yourself love in tangible ways.
I rarely get crushes but man I got hit over the head HARD a month ago with this bartender who works the seasonal beach bar at my local beach. I've been showing up there just to look at him. I don't even know his name nor do I care to. And he's like 20 years younger than me so there's that! But fuck he's the hottest thing I've seen in a very very very long time.. I am currently celibate, but he might be able to change my mind. I never engage him. I ignore him, but I'll show up with a gf then order drinks and ignore him. While checking him out through my side eye. I feel like it's ok cause it gives my otherwise pathetic lonely existence a little bit of thrill..