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We met, exclusive, a couple 3 months in, he moved. He does have crazy work schedules. But still makes time to call every day. My problem however isn't that, or that hes manipulative etc. Hes not a bad guy per se. But I dont feel like he really cares that much, that we cant see eachother often. In the beginning he told me after only 3 days that he couldnt wait any longer. Now it seems oh, this will be so rushed, maybe move it one more week? Now we havent seen eachother in a couple weeks. And when we call, I feel like he doesnt tell me enough how much I mean to him/he misses me, or direct plans to see me. I have friends and even strangers I meet that put more effort into finding a place to eat, for example. I feel like in all other aspects we are quite compatible. Obviously its not all bad - but it never is, init. I go outside and I have a list of suitors. I have all these options, but I'm waiting on him, and yes he is putting effort, calling every day, writing. But for me this feeling of being desired, and that he really needs to see me, is not there as much. Its almost as if he thinks he has me safe so its fine.
Edit: Thanks for the very much needed wakeup call. Idk where this victimesque energy from me was coming from, but it’s gone now 😂💅 Obviously forgot the basics. Ugh. Cringe.
Good lord. Read the handbook.
"I dont feel like he really cares that much"
That's all you need to block and delete. I hope you stop troubling yourself with this scrote.
Long distance should only ever be a temporary thing in a commited relationship that has existed with you two living in the same place for a few years already. Anything else is bullshit.
I work in academia/research, so I'm in a field where temporary long distance relationships are pretty common for career reasons (research fellowships in different places etc.) and it can work with a HV man. But that man would never make you feel insecure or like he isn't putting in effort. I know plenty of men who make a 6+ hour train trip twice (there and back) every single weekend for a year or more just so they can be with their partners and families. Expect nothing less than that.
Fds doesn’t recommend LDR for a reason.
I think he’s probably living life like he’s single.
If someone is going to do a ldr, you need to have an established relationship first and the distance should only be temporary, like you’re studying internationally for a semester or you’re taking a job opportunity that’s temporary. Something like that.
Even then, if you aren’t married you should pursue dating opportunities, you might find someone better 🤷♀️
To me ldr aren’t serious.
Also you feel like he doesn’t care. So you’ve already answered your question
OP where are your standards and boundaries? You need to find em, girl. Stat. I think you probably became exclusive with him too early. Then he promptly moves away and doesn't make you feel wanted? LOL, no way.
What is the point of having a man in your life if he is not actually in your life? You're basically single, sis.
The only men worth having around are the ones who add value to your life both daily and weekly.
What happens when you're sick? You take care of yourself? Okay, then what's the point of having a man?
What happens when you need sexual pleasure? You take care of it yourself? Okay, then what's the point of having a man?
This guy isn't your man. He is a glorified pen pal, and even then... women make for better pen pals.
Naw break up with him.
My friend in college did an ldr with her hs sweetheart. They’d take turns seeing her whenever they could. She was lonely most of the time. He broke up with her in her final semester. She spent the next few months crying into graduation and realized how she had so many opportunities to date guys in her area code at that age.
Granted, idk where you are in your life/age, but I consider that a waste since she was so young, but with a guy a million miles away.
A guy I was seeing for 2 years, lying man of a divorced man btw says a lot about his character. He decided to move from west coast to midwest. Let me be the one to say he (actually it was most likely his ex-wife doing all the work) was able to make a marriage work for 10 years allegedly living here with a wife he supposedly didn't like but he couldn't thug it out here for 2 years with me lol.
HOWEVER, I will say use the long distance to your advantage, you aren't married. Use your close distance dating opportunities or self-improvement opportunities.