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Because when they do it, it’s delusional, but when we do, it’s biologically correct. (Yes, even if you personally do not aspire to children or have fertility issues.)
I’ve been on my self love journey for a while, absorbing FDS energy along the way, and one of the more humorous things that’s struck me is how in nature documentaries, it’s almost always the male species who prunes himself, meticulously prepares his nest, and desperately performs to the female’s liking. Watching bird mating dances, in particular, has got me convinced us human have got it all backwards with women taking the lead on preening and investing time, effort and money into being desirable - it’s not natural.
We currently live in a society where most of the burden of being “desirable“ is disproportionately placed on women, but the way we change that - or anything - is through changing our thoughts and beliefs about this. What FDS was really good at was helping me really internalise that I can flip any of these accepted narratives around expectations places on men and women, and no, I don’t have to justify them or explain myself. (Note how men/the patriarchy never have to justify or explain, because their worldview is simply accepted as reality - we need the same energy from women.)
I’ve genuinely had such success with this reframing, that I’m now really turned off by any man who does not enthusiastically and actively pursue me. This drastically weeds out players, hot and cold guys and all sorts of losers, because the way I see it, any man who isn’t obviously interested in me has poor taste in women, and that’s very unattractive to me.
This might sound like audacity, but the difference is, when a woman is audacious, unlike men, it simply protects us and lifts up our energy because of our conditioning. So, ladies, I’m 100% serious - be audacious and be your own greatest fan! It’ll make you feel like a million bucks.
I learnt from some pop-science video, that penis used to be a bone, but since the females of the species found it undesirable, it evolved into its current softer form. So women actually used to decide who to mate with and what genes to pass on, before they got enslaved by men.
I actually believe that we have so much weak, psychotic, evil, ugly and balding men right now, because women didn't have a choice of mates for thousands of years, and were forced to procreate with the worst specimen. We all really need to vet hard to weed all the pathetic losers out of the genetic pool for the healing of humankind.
I love this. I need this energy every day. I am really getting into Louise Hay and positive affirmations. I was listening to one of her audiobooks, and she encouraged the listener to say "I approve of myself" over and over, and to fill your mind with positive thoughts about yourself. Now, I say "I love myself. I approve of myself. I adore myself" all day!
Why shouldn't we hype ourselves up? Why shouldn't we see our own magic and beauty? What is wrong with thinking we're amazing? It feels so much better to tell myself how beautiful and worthy I am instead of saying all kinds of negative and terrible things to myself. The world might not agree with me, but I want the space inside my mind to be one of positivity and loving kindness toward myself.
Women are beat down enough. We have got to end it. We've got to see our worth and lift each other up. Louise Hay says that our thoughts are our reality. So, let's create a better reality that is more kind, gentle, loving, and positive for ourselves. I am also detaching more from people who are confusing or clearly not interested in me. I want only mutuality. I want people who see my value and treat me accordingly. It's what we all deserve. I think once you really start loving yourself you will not tolerate subpar behavior or treatment.
I love this! My current audacious thought is when people I'm getting to know/friends start to become unreliable (not answering texts, canceling for stupid reasons), I go: "awww, I'm so sorry you're gonna miss out on a great friend." And I feel totally at peace downgrading them to "someone I know".
Although I do feel the man should be the one chasing and performing for US, I would be careful to say that behavior means he really likes us. For some men, the thrill is only in the chase. Once they have you, they drop
YES. YES YES YES. We don't have "audacity", really, because this is our inborn power and right as women.
I’m so here for this!! Having the audacity of a mediocre white man really helps us win in life lmao.
Loving ourselves is the best revenge
“any man who isn’t obviously interested in me has poor taste in women, and that’s very unattractive to me.” Perfect sentence. Instead of grieving with rejection, this is the way to go. If a man doesn’t want to pursue me it’s because he has terrible taste. Some people will say we are narcissistic, but it’s just audacity. If they have it, why can’t we have?
I love this! I agree that it's natural for men to compete with each other to be desirable for men. The human race is literally the only species in which the male is seen as the prize rather than the female. It's backwards, warped and wrong. That's the patriarchy - it makes no biological sense whatsoever and exists only to mollycoddle men.
Recognising my innate worth as a woman has really helped not only my self esteem but also how I see the world and interact with others. I don't think in terms of what I can't do, I go for whatever I want to do and if it doesn't work out, it's everyone else's loss and at least I tried. If I believe I deserve respect, I've found that I attract more people who are willing to give it to me.
Take the audacity displayed by men in their every day lives, the workplace and in relationships, internalise it, and turn it into something that benefits you. This world is hard enough for women, we need all the impetus and help we can give ourselves.
You're 100% correct. It is the male that must prove his worth in all other species, and human males flipped the script on women to give themselves easy access to sex and to pass down their genes. In nature, most males don't get to pass on their genes. Marriage was invented so that each male would get a sex and house slave even if he didn't deserve to breed. This has weakened the human species quite drastically. All of these men complaining about being short and ugly wouldn't even exist if short, ugly men hadn't been allowed to breed. If females selected men based upon their usefulness and performance vs. this misguided "you need to give men a chance and be a faithful servant" bullshit, humans would be beautiful like race horses or any other creature where we only select the best to breed.
When a particular guy was pursuing you and when you feel attached and develop feelings he puts on breaks but still is polite and takes you on dates but has significantly reduced pursuit how do you let go when you feel so attached/attracted ?