Kissing/Touching on the first date?

On a first date, you are a stranger to him. So a man who goes for physical touch on a first date sees you as an object to gratify himself with, rather than a human woman who he wants to treat with respect and put at ease.

I suppose it's more of a personal thing. To me it's a big no go. I don't like men touching me freely like that, and he hasn't earned physical affirmation yet. Most of the time it's just a tactic to rush things. To me a kiss on the first date is not something I would like even if I like the man🚩

Hell no! You don’t even know the guy. Whenever a guy tries to kiss me on the first date, I pull away and say I’m not comfortable with that. It’s a huge 🚩… they need to put effort for months to even hold your hand.

what peeves me the most is when the guy would try kiss on the first date and it was so off. Off timing, off energy, off connection. It was so obviously just for their own interest/getting off and so objectifying. I used to feel bad for rejecting them (pickme... sigh), but eventually I got really sick of it and realised it was him that was the problem. and its a turn off.

I wouldn't kiss on the first date - I'd need to have seen/known him for a few months at least first so I can make sure he doesn't have herpes. I've heard that the lesions can come and go over a certain period of time. And with the amount of community dick out there it's better to be safe than sorry. Holding hands etc - I'd probably be okay with after a month or so. But it depends on the context and how long I'd been talking to him beforehand. Make him work for the privilege!

I’m less concerned with timescales than his ability to take cues from a woman. My first date with my boyfriend was the best date I’d ever been on. We had such an amazing time and I really fancied him. When we said goodbye he asked if he could give me a hug then stayed still. I moved towards him and we had a quick hug. It was really nice. I think we were dating for a year before he started just giving me hugs, for a very long time he checked in every time before touching me. I’d only want to be with a man who prioritised my comfort and sense of safety over his desire to touch me.

yes, he's testing your boundaries.

I would not do any kissing or hand holding until at least the fourth or fifth date, assuming you are correctly going out on a date for only once per week with this person. Me personally, I am okay with light hugs in the beginning and maybe a chaste peck on the cheek, but nothing on the lips until after around a solid month of him putting in effort with me, and even then, I won't be introducing our tongues to each other until he himself steps up and asks for a proper commitment with me.

At first glance I’d say yes, a red flag. Just like calling you a familiarity, it strikes me as a way to rush the getting to know you process which takes time and investment. If touching occurs naturally and seems non-intrusive, I have no issue. But I think our gut instincts are spot on and even if a man tries to be natural, if it’s orchestrated then that’s a LVM way to try to get past normal defenses. I’d say give it one more date but make a point to pull away or protest being touched and see how he reacts. Any defensiveness means the drama king doth protest too much.

Yes, major ruby red flag!

No stranger should be touching another stranger so fast. I don't care if he's sexually depraved and desperate. He should have some self respect for himself at least, even if he has zero respect for women.

It's bordering on sexual assault, if he hasn't already with another woman. I wouldn't be surprised.

Think about it, would you go up to a stranger and hold their hand, then continue to try to get so close your inside their strange mouth.

This is pressuring and coercing into sexual abuse.

Society has normalised the sht out of abuse and that has to stop.

Too many men using sexual coercion.

And then get angry when you don't allow them access to your body.

Stay safe.

Holding hands is intimate, so nah. And defefinitely not kissing a total stranger. Ew

Absolutely a red flag. A HVM would be patient and respectful, and would value my comfort and security enough to wait until after the first date. Third date, minimum, for kissing and flirtatious touch.

Personally, hand holding isn’t the worst at the end of the first date if he’s walking you to a taxi or a bus, but kissing or anything for me is a big no no until the 4th or 5 th date.

Physical touching early on is a way to speed things up... I would say no to this. And yes, I would say its a red flag.