Hi ladies, Yesterday I matched with a guy. Has a lot of common interests etc. 3 things have happened and I am considering just deleting his number but I'd like yall to play devil's advocate or shake me to trust myself. 1. Asked for my number after half a day of chatting on the app 2. He sent me a sound clip of him.I said he had an ASMR voice and after talking a bit about ASMR he decides to call me out of the blue? It was midnight, which I think is totally inappropriate. I am a bit shy on the phone for some reason so I hung up lol and told him he had some nerve to call me so late. 3. In a message just now I made a joke and he said 'bitch please'. Even if it's not a joke I don't think it's appropriate and I literally never had this happen with any men that was persuing me. I know it's an expression, I use it amongst my girl and gay friends, but a straight man saying this? My gut is telling me nah. Ladies are these red flags or am I being over sensitive? Update: I deleted him and he messaged me with the following: Strange attitude coming from you, and even more when there is no apparent reason for it, but I guess that's the new normal coming from certain people. 🤦♂️Take care thank you to all the ladies who validated me that it's ok for me to end communicating and listen to the icks. Some comments even expanded on his motives and you're all absolutely right I should have just blocked instead of deleting! Learned my lesson.
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Block him
Gross. The "b*tch please" in itself would be an instant no from me (gotta love the casual use of misogynistic slurs!), but add in the creepy ASMR stuff and the boundary testing by calling out of nowhere (makes me think he was horny and wanted phone sex)... icky all around.
Go with your instinct on this one and B&D.
If you have to ask, then that’s red flag enough. I recently rejected a guy because he doesn’t like cheese and messaged my girlfriends to ask if I was being a bit much. They unilaterally said I didn’t need that negativity in my life.
About cheese.
You can reject a guy based on anything at all.
Ugh, sounds creepy. I vote for block & delete. You're not sensitive, those small icks are often a sign of something bigger. Btw: my bf knows about ASMR and referenced it in the beginning too, and he does my favorite sound triggers for me, but he wouldn't just call me and try to entrance me with his "ASMR voice". That shit would make my skin crawl.
1. Not a red flag IMO (but I’m not very familiar with dating app norms lol)
2. Red flag. I’m guessing he was hoping for phone sex, given that it was midnight?
3. Red flag city 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Block, delete, NEXT.
The only people who use online dating for socialization and finding a partner are woman. Men only use it as a tool to further their own goals, and to entertain themselves at the expense of others.
Here's a link to a woman who was used in an organized drug running ring. She was looking for love, the men are shopping for woman they can use. It's very important we understand that online dating is a very risky ideas. If you're going to use it, you have to protect yourself, so block and delete aggressively!!!
2. This alone would be a reason for me to block. This might be the millenial coming through, but any guy who's calling without warning me first, gets blocked. Glad you were able to see the light, too.
What is it with men randomly calling you a bitch or other names out of the blue? Are they testing you to see how much disrespect you'll put up with? I've had that experience a few times and yes it is a red flag.
Calling at midnight is a bad sign. As is the "bitch please" comment.
Good on you for rejecting him.