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I have matched with a guy on Hinge that seems very different. We are in our late 30s but he is 2 years younger than me. His profile was subtle but definitely made me think "this man is looking at things maturely/right."
I'm a lawyer and he has PhD (its rare meeting men as/more educated than me). He also seems picky and was clearly vetting me while we chatted, but not in an obnoxious way. Most men just get through a basic convo to get a date. He only logs into his app once a day, instead of constantly messaging me all day. And his first date offer was dinner, which is so rare (most ask for coffee or drinks).
But we were talking about where we live. We are in a very HCOL major city. I live downtown and it honestly feels like an adult campus, bc people well into their 40s going out and drinking. He lives in a sleepy but nice suburb outside of our city. He says he enjoys gardening, home repairs, and lounging in front of his fireplace..which is a nice change from the apartment dwelling guys that eat crap and party every day. But when I asked why he settled in that suburb (bc its mostly families), he said he purchased it at 24 years old (10+years ago) bc he had scholarships for school and decided to put his money in owning a home. He said he selected that burb bc it has nice homes and schools and figured if he found a partner had kids, it would be a good place to start a family. He said however, he has not found that yet.
I just find it unusual that a man at 24 bought a home with a family in mind. I know men in their 30s-40s that make home choices soley based on them and their concenience. I just imagine you make those home buying decisions once you are married?
Am I overthinking this? I am just curious how you ladies view this - green or red flag?
Many of the guys in the math department in my university were like that. They can be extremely long range thinkers compared to the average scrote.
I love this, because it's such a typical phenomenon we don't get the chance to talk about very much. Schrodinger's flag: it could be red, it could be green, but we don't know yet. It's definitely a flag of some sort though.
I think generally owning a home at a young age is a good thing. I think some men do try to amass wealth and security for the purpose of finding a partner and having a family. It could be that he bought a home at that age simply because it was a good investment and he's fluffing it up to make him seem more family-oriented, but off the bat it sounds like he does have a provider mentality, if that's what you're looking for.
I don't see it as a red flag, unless you have reasons why you may not want to live in that suburb.
Interesting.
I say neither, but it would be curious to know how amenable he is to the woman bearing him said family wanting to live somewhere else - somewhere potentially more in line with her tastes… maybe that’s one to explore if you find yourself on a date.
I think it’s lovely, and what a shame that he hasn’t found someone to move in with him yet. I call it a green flag that he’s done it, but at least a yellow flag that in all these years, he hasn’t found someone who would want to move in. As you said, almost no men want a commitment, so shouldn’t at least one woman previously been eager to snap him up?
I don't see this as a red flag at all. It's quite sweet - as though he's just sitting there, waiting for you. However, as someone else said, you will have to vet and work out how flexible he is in terms of moving to or with you if you want that.
Also, he seems to have a great approach to money - this is a green flag.
I would say green/yellow
I don't see this as a red flag at all. Could be at 24 he was already bored with going out and partying. If it's a hcol city he probably realized things won't be getting any cheaper. Might not necessarily be a green flag it might not be a flag at all. But I definitely don't see it as a red flag