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I noticed that she defends clearly problematic men like Andrew Tate or Kevin Samuels. I don't know if this is a touch of pickmeism or the fact she loves playing devils advocate but it's really annoying. She'll say people don't watch all of the clips to get full context but I literally watched Andrew Tate admit to tricking women into sex trafficking himself. And when I told my mom she just shrugged it off.
Next, I noticed how she'll rag on women who are clearly mentally ill and have severely low self esteem and it comes off as smug and arrogant. My cousin has suffered emotional and possibly physical abuse from both of her parents. Her mom especially, that woman is genuinely evil. My mom recognizes just how evil she is, yet she will rag on my cousin in private because she ends up with terrible men that treat her horribly.
I know it's annoying dealing with women who won't leave a shitty guy but I feel for my cousin because I've done the exact same things as her. So when my mom calls her stupid for how she acts, I feel like she's calling me stupid too. I've watched her call other women desperate for how they chase men, and again I've done those things. So I've stopped opening up to her because I feel like she's too judgemental.
She herself admitted she doesn't have childhood trauma and has always had the ability to leave men for the most part (my dad was the one who wasted most of her time though). So I get really angry at her for expecting women with trauma to act like her when she never experienced the same things.
Another thing that seems pickme, my mom refers to other women as females and claims women cause more problems for her than men. Really? But wasn't it 3 different men who got her pregnant and none of them paid child support? Isn't that more of a nuisance than some dumb women at work? My dad was abusive and wasted 12 years of her life. Yet silly drama my mom goes through women occasionally somehow tops that.
Last, I don't like how my mom pressures her new bf to marry her. She talks badly about other women being desperate but then keeps "joking" about getting a ring from her bf and calls him her future husband. I don't think he's done any of that first and I would tell me about how she jokes about that.
Honestly I have mixed feelings about marriage. I can see how it can benefit women but I can also see just how it can trap women into an unfair arrangement and make it hard to leave. I watched what happened to her with my dad and it honestly has made me not want to marry at all.
Short answer: absofuckinglutely
(Many) older women are huge pickmes that do everything for their men. Yet because they have less "hookup culture" and don't do online dating, they think they're superior.
This is called patriarchal bargaining, in case you want a solid Google search.
Yeah she sounds like a pick me. Speaking as a daughter of a pick me mother, the only real advice I can offer is don't discuss your love life with her and if you ever have an issue with a man (regardless of whether it's a male boss/teacher/relative), don't discuss it with her. You're very unlikely to get the support you need from her in these situations and she may even give advice that's harmful e.g. gaslighting you into thinking that abusive behaviour is ok.
If you do have any of the problems I mentioned above, either vent about them on here or if you have a female friend IRL who isn't a pick me and has her head screwed on right, then maybe try talking to her instead.
Yes. She sounds like the type of mom to defend a rapist. This is textbook misogyny.
She's an abuse enabler and a misogynist. That's worse than pick me.
She has trauma she's just not aware of it. Happy healed people don't act like this.
Yes she is incredibly high on the pick me spectrum.