Is kissing too early for a second date and any advice on how to keep composure and let him pay for the second time?

It took my boyfriend six dates to work up the courage to kiss me. I don’t think it’s LV for a woman to kiss a man on the second date, but I worry that a man who is bold enough to kiss a woman the second time he meets her will expect a fast trajectory of other physical intimacy, or generally not respect her. Plus I expect and prefer a man to still be scared of me on a second date. I think a second date could be comfortable and flirty with some hand-holding, sitting close next to each other, a hug, or a shy peck goodnight.

1. First question: when is kissing too soon?

I don't know if I'm FDS-aligned in this respect, but I think kissing (and kissing only—nothing below the neck) on the second date in a public place is not too soon. Kissing can also be a good way to vet for compatibility. Does he shove his tongue down your throat? Does he grab your breasts or grind his crotch into your leg? If so, BLOCK AND DELETE.

And don't initiate the kiss, of course.

2. Second question: how do I keep my poker face on the second date [with regards to letting him pay]?

Here's a rule I implement ruthlessly on every date: if I have to pull out my cash/credit card for any reason on a date, THERE WILL NEVER BE ANOTHER DATE. It's not about how you feel. It's about the standards he should have for himself. An HVM would never allow the bill to sit on the table for so long that it makes his date uncomfortable.

When you're around him, your wallet, effectively, does not exist. Period.

I think it depends on the person. For me, second time meeting someone is way too soon to have my mouth on their mouth

You just saw this guy the day before yesterday? And now you are "kind of having a romantic date" today? It's going too fast in my opinion, it's rushed intimacy-- especially since you had a really long date the day before yesterday. Seeing him again so soon also signals you're too available since he could only have thought up the date a day in advance with little to no planning on his part. You're giving away your time too easily.

You are WAAAAAY overinvested in this coffee-date-offering scrote, sorry. Why would it even cross your mind to want to pay his way if not because you're afraid of making a "bad impression" and "lose" on him? You have it all backwards. He should be 100% trying to impress YOU. Honestly if you feel any sort of anxiety come the end of the date, either he gave off vibes that he expected you to pay (which is an immediate "EW, next"), or you need to take a step back from dating because you can't trust yourself not to fawn for the barest minimum of standards. REALLY internalize what FDS means, don't just try to follow rules as if they were random suggestions. When the check arrives and he so much as hesitates, you DON'T think "oh I'm tempted to pay but FDS says not to", you SHOULD think "Ew. I just lost any attraction I had. I'll block him on the way back"

yes it definitely is too early. so, you guys went and got pizza on wednesday, spent an hour together and went back home, and then on friday he already wants to kiss? that probably sounds too soon even to him, and i'd worry that he thinks he's owed something rather than wanting to kiss because he's genuinely liking you.

I have kissed as early as on third dates. Kissing is special to me, sure, but it's not serious that I'd feel disgusted with myself if I did it and it wasn't that good. It's a fairly low stakes way to assess chemistry / physical compatibility. But of course, it might be different for other women to whom kissing is a more intimate act. Probably also depends on upbringing. Don't do anything you're not comfortable with, obviously. I personally do like kissing early and if he's trying to escalate it to sex, then I already know what I need to know. Sadly I haven't cut men off based on this in the past, but I was determined to do so in my current relationship. He actually was the first one who treated me affectionately and had great kissing game without pushing for sex. Sure he was interested (easy to tell with guys haha) but it was understood that the woman sets the pace.