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Some female acquaintances invited me to a nice upscale steakhouse/cocktail bar tonight. I accepted the invite. They invited other people as well and it turned out to be a mixed group. Now what I didn't know is that this place sort of turns into a dinner /club after a certain time. Post FDS me only goes to these kind of places with a female ONLY group.
I tried to stick to talking to women but there was a scrote who introduced himself and we included him in conversation. Then when everyone moved over to the bar area to chat/ dance it felt like the vibe turned into more of a club environment. He sort of would tap my shoulder/arm with his fingers as he was talking and articulating certain things. He did it to the other wormen as well. I made it a point to step away from him the second and third time he tried to do this. He asked me if I wanted to keep in contact and pulled out his phone. I said no.
The beautiful lady next to me had this cute key necklace. Her outfit showed a bit of cleavage. He feigned interest in the necklace and put his hands above her cleavage to hold the necklace and ask her questions about it. I felt it was obvious that he just wanted to brush his fingertips to her cleavage. What the actual fuck! I would NEVER put my hands or fingers on another woman's chest to touch her necklace without asking permission.
When he leaned in close to try and talk in my ear, I decided it was time to leave. The music wasn't loud enough to justify him doing this. I hate men leaning over me unnecessarily to talk in my ear and I especially hate them touching me. He leaned in for a hug when I said goodbye to the group. I stepped back and put my first out for a first bump. I don't want to hug men who are not family.
I've traveled to quiet a few countries post pandemic and men in other countries DO NOT do this. They will not touch you physically even when they talk to you. I've never had men do this in Western Europe, Asia or Africa. In these places, the woman seems to have to initiate the hug or physical contact if she wants to. Or they usually ask beforehand if it's ok to hug. I also didn't have these experiences when I lived in a bigger City in North America. I've moved to a Southern state. Here, I've had a male bartender come around the bar and grab my waist hold me and say "you're really pretty," I had to push him off. A guy at my cousin's wedding reception after party kept grabbing me by my waist & hand to feign keeping me close to the group.
I'm wondering if it's just the city I moved to. Or if being all up in people's space is Southern scrote behaviour? I never see women in the South invading people's personal space. I'm also wondering if it's a postpandemic thing?
It's incredible the way they think they can just touch us. I do think it is an American thing. One thing I loved about lockdowns and COVID was the whole 6ft apart thing. I could finally force men to stay away from me by yelling, "Hey 6ft!!" If they got too close. I was working and this guy walks up to me saying he liked my "nails" then goes to grab my left hand to look at my "nails" aka trying to see if I have a wedding ring on. I pull away and tell him he doesn't need to touch me. He then asks if I'm married. I tell him my status doesn't matter. I'm working does he need any help? If not, he can leave. Then he says sorry, so sorry then tried to fist bump me, and I exclaim again, "Dude! You don't need to touch me!" And he walks off. The audacity is real out here.
I'm a Filipina living in the 🇵🇭 and men here usually don't initiate that much physical contact esp if you're not wasted or out on the dance floor. They'd usually be more subtle about it and not as touchy. I've had the same experience in S.Korea where the men are just more likely to run their mouths and say cringey lines than touch you so obviously.
I haven't tried the nightlife in western countries but American male tourists do act obnoxious here in clubs and in bars. I had one suddenly kiss my cheek while I was taking a picture with my friend and when I turned to look at him, he was grinning and looking at me like I was supposed to feel flattered??? Tf
I remember my middle/high school had male students that would sneak up behind me/other girls and grab us by the ribs or smack our butts. Then they would have the audacity to make fun of us for flinching or getting mad.