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I have believed this instinctively for more than a decade and do not yet have a way of explaining it that makes sense to most other people. Perhaps fellow FDSers can help?
In my 30-plus years, I have seen happy relationships in which the women had platonic male friends. I have never seen a happy or functional relationship in which the man had female friends. Such a relationship, as we all know, does not exist.
I think this idea may be too radical even for FDS, but I know it to be valid and have not seen it discussed in other posts.
My questions:
1. How would you explain this concept to a man you are dating?
2. How would you respond if he protested the lack of "fairness"? If a man asked, "Wait, you're saying I can't have opposite-gender friends but you can, how is that fair?!?" I would not know how to respond, even though this is one of my hard boundaries.
Men are socialized to view women as sex objects and to be entitled to our attention and bodies. Most of them fuck zone us.
We on the other hand can have platonic friendships or at least platonic on our side because we’ve socialized differently and taught to respect men and put them on a pedestal.
Men aren’t your friends. Keep them at arm’s length.
I don’t believe in ‘equality’ among the sexes, but I don’t think men are worth your friendship.
I don’t believe in friendship between male and women. Period. Not because of us, women, because we are completely capable of just seeing a man as a friend, but THEY ARE NOT. I truly believe men want to fuck all of their female friends. I was dating a guy who told me he HaD mAnY fEmALe FriEnDs. One day he called at night saying that he was going to one of those friends to give mental support because her phone was stolen. He had met her on Tinder but tHeY wErE fRiEnds. Of course I dumped him. I think they pretend friendship but they are just waiting the right moment. If a woman gives any signal they will take it. Like someone else said, they are socialized to see us as objects and to be entitled to our attention. I’m pretty sure every man think about f**ing their female friends.
I only have one male friend (who doesn't live nearby) . He's been my best friend for over 20yrs. He's now married and with a baby on the way. He's not like other men, but I wouldn't trust any other man to just be a platonic friend.
I do understand what you're trying to say. We as women cna be trusted to have a male friend, but not the other way around. But with the logic that we are fine to have a male friend how does that make all sense. Eventually you meet a guy who has a female friend (maybe someone who's also on fds) would you still allow her in his life or no?
What would make it different? Or as fds woman would you stop being friends with your male friend if he gets in a relationship or except him to quit being friends with you because he's got a girlfriend now?
Because after all if his new fds girlfriend is really living fds she should not tolerate you. Do you know what Im trying to say. It's hard to describe. What I mean in a language that's not my mother tongue 😅
I've been thinking about these scenarios a lot and would like to see what others think.
Decent man in relationships (I don't know all well enough to say they are high value) instantly me give me the vibe of: "I will interact with you, but keep some distance", if not tell me they are in a relationship straight away, regardless of my intentions. They instantly give other women a warning. That tells you everything
remember that you don’t have to explain your standards to any man. your standards are yours and legit, and if he doesn’t meet them, boy BYE.
stay ruthless.