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IMO if he values her, he’d still pay.
My thinking is that, if a man were gentlemen, he’d pay regardless.
My girl friends are saying that who ever initiated should pay, because it makes sense.
Idk anymore, this has been on my mind the whole time.
Update: now I’m like, why would she even initiate to go with him? Wouldn’t it be better to go alone or with her friends?
We don't ask men for a date. Period. Please read the handbook.
Do 👏🏻 Not 👏🏻 Chase 👏🏻 Men 👏🏻
Never initiate and never pay. It should be expensive for them to spend time with you and you need to be the one getting chased (not the other way around).
https://drive.google.com/drive/mobile/folders/1fuFcfMQLNXslSYv1ngXlh_BSuUYJOwwQ?usp=sharing&pli=1
A 5 part series on why we should NEVER go 50/50 or pay!
https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/s/5SpxWcMjYr
Also, check out the other lists of posts on FDS Reddit about why this is a bad idea
He should pay, being around Males is dangerous as it is. Not only do women get anxiety before going on dates, they also have to look good, wear makeup, nice clothes etc which takes time. Men should pay 100% but I don’t think Women should initate a date.
Never initiate or suggest a date with a man.
If you find yourself in a hypothetical situation of having initiated or suggested a date with a man, he still pays.
I wouldn’t initiate a date with someone who I wasn’t already seriously dating. Even then, I’ll phrase it like, “There’s a really exciting new restaurant that just opens, it looks sooo good, let’s go together soon!” Or I might say “I’d love to go there with you!” That tells him what I want without making it a request he can easily say no to, because he sees how excited I am about it and I made it into a statement instead of a demand. I’ve read that men don’t like hearing the word “should” and ever since I eliminated that from my wording when talking to men, I’ve had more success getting what I want. This works in business too… it may sound slightly manipulative, but it tends to make them feel like it’s now their idea to plan a date there.
Anyway, all that to say that using a statement rather than asking if he wants to do something with you turns it back on him to make the reservation and plan the date, and now he has invited you, and etiquette states that he should pay for his guest.
Your final conclusion is correct--don't ask him out and don't pay. MAYBE, after MANY dates at his expense, and an exclusive relationship, you buy him a birthday dinner. If he's your actual boyfriend, I guess you could cook him dinner. It's still not mandatory to pay. I remember "taking a guy to dinner" for his birthday...he still paid! I brought him a cake. That was it. He was very happy with it. This man had taken me to many lovely restaurants, spent lots of money on me, red roses, champagne, and breakfast in bed on Valentine's Day, helped financially when needed, paid my phone bill because he benefited from me having a phone service (his words/idea, not mine), weekend trip to Wine Country for my birthday. (He wasn't even invited to my birthday party because it was just for friends, not dating partners.) In fact, when my friends and family visited, he paid for THEIR nice restaurant meals, too, plus event tickets, and rides to/from airport, where applicable. We weren't even an official couple; he was not introduced as my boyfriend. I never agreed to exclusivity. In fact, at some point, we were platonic friends when my friends and family visited and when he and I went out to dinner. But, he paid. ALWAYS. To this day, if we went out to eat, he wouldn't hesitate to grab that bill. And, I wouldn't do the Fake Grab. Ever. The Fake Grab is for fake women. Don't be a phony. (I hate when women "test" guys with this nonsense. Then, they get upset if he takes them up on their offer to split. I disagree with those who say it's polite to offer. Not if your offer is insincere, it's not! It's phony, and it's a set-up. Nothing polite about that.) So, yes, this guy always paid. And, he's not the only one. Some guys were raised right. But, not many. Go find one that is!
A 5 part series on why we should NEVER go 50/50 or pay!
https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/s/5SpxWcMjYr
Also, check out the other lists of posts om FDS Reddit about why this is a bad idea
I think whoever asks/initiates the date should pay.
BUT I’d never in a million years ask a man on a date and you shouldn’t either.
The handbook says you shouldn’t pay for dates. So this is kinda a silly question to ask on here.
Yes, whoever initiates/suggest should pay. No women should not EVER be initiating or suggesting dates with men.
I believe whoever asks out should accommodate the person with food and drinks. They are your guests. Whoever comes with the cheap shot of splitting the bills should be blocked and never spoken to again.