.png)
Coworkers were swapping "early relationship temporary break up" stories about their current spouses, and one said she broke up with her fiancé because he was too good and she knew he was the one she wanted to marry, but she wanted to continue her hoe phase. To me I feel like that's horribly insulting behavior towards any partner, and if I had a partner try that on me they'd never see or hear from me again. But I feel a little weird feeling sorry for a man I have no idea is LV or HV. But while typing this out I guess I see better how this can be pickme behavior, like to sideline a perceived HVM for a season for random scrote dick.
I want y'all ladies thoughts on this, I don't wanna be having unnecessary bias towards freedom of female sexual exploration, but I can't help but see this as some drinking-the-koolaid societal swindling she fell for.
A pickme's main goal is male validation. That means they will actively seek it out even if it means cheating or quitting a decent relationship. Or maybe her fiancé wasn't good enough, but she got too scared to leave him for good, so she went back and settled (which is still pickme behaviour).
But I wouldn’t take anyone’s side in these stories. Like yeah she handled it poorly but that doesn’t mean you start sympathising or siding with him. He’s a man you don’t know (he could be a cheater or worse).
But you’re right, it’s a good self-reflection point. Being treated this way by a partner would be a dealbreaker for you, me, and a lot of FDS users on here.
The thing is women, and pick mes especially, are terrible at articulating the realities their intuitions point them towards. There is objectively nothing appealing about an actual hoe phase - you know it, I know it, and she knows it. "Wanting to continue her hoe phase" is internalized misogynist language she uses to describe the fact that she was dissatisfied with the relationship, was too much of a coward to articulate to herself (or to others) why, and so wanted to search out other options. So, it's entirely possible this was only LV behaviour because of her inability to introspect, reflect, and articulate her position, as opposed to just straight forward shitty cheating behaviour.
Going back was even more LV though (but it's pathetic of her partner to have taken her back).
"I feel a little weird feeling sorry for a man" And you shouldn't. Feel sorry for *her* that she was so brainwashed by the rotten culture that she settled with a scrote who was not good enough to meet all her needs. Feel sorry for the state of women's standards. Random scrotes don't need you feeling bed for them. And NEVER fall for the "oh but if someone did this to me..." trap. Dating is NOT symmetrical on ANY scale. Or soon you'll be saying "Well, I would not tolerate him checking my phone secretly, so I'd never do that" 🙄🙄
I guess she had low self esteem and didn't feel good enough for this man, so the relationship wouldn't have worked anyway.
That, or subconsciously he wasn't the right fit, but as women we're not allowed to assume anything but the best of men, so if he seemed "good on paper" she has to go with this story.
Which leads to this strange LVM sounding justification from her. 😂
When i was in college, an a ZVM i was dating suggested that we “breakup for the summer so we (he) can date other people, then get back together when the school year starts again.” I suggested that we break up over the summer and then NOT get back together again, because I do not move backwards in my life (including getting back together with someone I broke up with). He withdrew that suggestion pretty quickly, but if I had had FDS then, I would have gone ahead and dumped him. Or I would have been dating other guys already, because if you’re not married, you’re single. But if I had had FDS, I wouldn’t have dated such a scrote to begin with, so it’s a moot point.
Breaking off the engagement, seeing other men, then ::him:: winning her back was a very strategic power play on her part. I can’t fault any women for doing that. She has Ruthless Strategist energy. Do not feel sorry for this man. Men want PAIN. “Boys only want love if it’s torture.” Period.