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I think I am a naturally gullible person. I've read the handbook and methods to spot manipulation tactics, but I still end up trusting the wrong people in a non-dating context (I have always been single this never happened to me in a dating context). I can't help but think I will be even more vulnerable in a dating context. My hormones may hinder my decision making ability besides my tendency to trust people.
This makes me wonder if I should avoid using OLD. It's true that LVM are everywhere but I can't help but think they gravitate towards OLD. The online nature of OLD makes it easy for LVM to lie about themselves (even their names may be fake...). At least for LVM I meet irl, it's easier for me to verify whether they are lying about their identity or their relationship status (e.g. a mutual friend can confirm what he said is real). I can't help but feel like the HVW who use OLD have more life experience and are less gullible than me so they are less likely to be fooled by LVM.
I don't know how I can meet men out of OLD though. I don't have any group hobbies, don't go to church, and don't think any of my friends and relatives know any HVM they can set me up with. I'm also not comfortable with meeting men at bars or dating random strangers who flirt with me (similar to men on OLD, it's harder to verify their identity). I also don't think I will ever date a coworker. Paying money to join classes or group events for the sake of meeting men doesn't seem like a good idea though. As for matchmakers, I've heard that a lot of them are scammy.
OLD is a cesspool of horror. Nothing good comes from it. Meet men literally any other way
I have been a very trusting person myself. The nature of online communication can be a minefield for us because men can easily text things they don't mean, and they can also create intimacy and bonding quite quickly through texting. But we can be swindled in real life, too. I just think OLD makes it even easier and more convenient for LVM to find us, use us, and manipulate us. I vote for avoiding it completely. Many women here on the forum can attest to how horrible and damaging OLD is.
Yes, avoid it. Most men on OLD are emotionally unavailable. They are unaware they are emotionally unavailable so you will have to wade through their lies (usually lies through omission), nonsense sweet-talk and general flakiness. Don't bother - use your time for more enjoyable things.
To answer your question if you're too gullible to use old? From what I read, yes. I think you'd get swindled easily by these very cunning, manipulative, males. You would learn a lot about identifying red flags, though.
You don't have to do things specifically to meet men. Do things you enjoy, do things that expand your social circle. Even if a lot of these social connections don't lead to romance, there are still plenty of benefits to having social connections, so it's well worth your time.
If you make friends with someone less trusting, you can balance each other out a bit. Their sense of caution can rub off on you, and they in turn can become less of a fortress and more open from being around you. That's what it's like for me and my friend. I'm the cautious one and she's the sweet trusting soul. 😄
So, yeah, avoid OLD. I don't even use it despite having a pretty sound bullshit-detector. OLD looks like an endless stream of bullshit from where I'm sitting. They aren't doing women a service, it's more like they are serving women up as products for men to consume. Don't let these apps use you. Get outside and live your life instead.
I have a history of being massively lied to in previous relationships - I met both of those in person in university, though. I avoid OLD as well, I'm bad enough at sussing out authenticity in person let alone amongst random online losers.
You're not naturally gullible, you have empathy and you'd think most people would have empathy too. But they don't. Men for the most part are naturally exploitative and online dating apps are men's playground for extracting all kinds of resource from women. Id suggest avoiding them just for the sheer volume of trash that's on itm