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Sorry for posting so much, I'll be starting a new job soon and I'll hardly be on my phone soon.
I honestly had this take when I was a 17 year old girl getting harassed by 36 year olds working at Target and not being given a place to stay by his mother because "we weren't dating" and "I was a gold digger" of course solidifying the idea at a young age that I'm just an object for men. That same man trying to give me an opportunity at his workplace this year (I was nervous but desperate, eventually got hired to something better, fuck him, i don't need him in the same workplace as me again). Constantly dating as a teenager just so I don't end up on the street because the step dad was worse and my mom was a pick-me who was supporting him while he did drugs + mediocre house work.
Fast forward the rise of male pandering liberal feminism: my biggest thought police as a teenager, even buying nudes off of me at 16 out of desperation, telling me to make an onlyfans at 18 even though I had vaginismus, with the 30+ year olds saying "please fix yourself" and I'm like "no lol you're ugly and I'm literally couch hopping, I have bigger problems right now".
I always had radical ideas, I always hated men and I always knew there was more than what was being said.
Liberal feminism has done this fancy little thing where any time we need to talk about something we throw in the obligatory "women are bad too, men are victims too!" pretending it's helpful when it's literally not, it doesn't even keep the shootings at bay it just gives a vehicle for white men to be like "boohoo" polishing their bald spot and anime figures.
I don't go near men that were abused, I don't feel bad for them at all. When they say abused it's the thing the 12 year old girls go through each day while being told to be quiet, why do you need a voice? Your life is literally effortless and it's not like your the one making organizations for molested children you literally got handed a microbiology degree and a brand new car my dude, figure your shit out and shut up.
I remember talking about being homeless, being abused, being miserable and I had men saying "get over it" constantly because I was a teenage girl and for some reason it looked like I had a fuckin "dehumanize me" badge on for simply being an attractive girl. Same guys would try buying nudes off of me on Facebook and Twitter. Trying to make money off of digital art and commissions, getting targeted by terminally online whites Because I undersold my art (being an artist was a family thing, I was actually decent at it, it wasn't your average chibi shit).
I'm An adult now, not homeless finally, working my ass off. These men want you to be perfect, no trauma, no problems, no critical thinking or discussions. And OH MY GOD they'll defend 🚂🦵's before they ever fucking admit the validity of female specific trauma. I've met more men supportive of 🚂🦵's rather than my fucking humanity.
Oh and the classic "GeT a ThErAPist" (had many) oh you mean the person that'll give me a new SSRI for every time I try talking about the world we live in? How am I the problem? Why does a teenage girl need 10 pills a day but the rapey men walk off scott free without a new diagnosis every fuckin year? Living in fuckin lala land and pretending like their fetishes are human rights.
You could never think deeply or have conversations with anyone, the girls were halfway done transitioning to boys before we could talk about radical feminism (which is free mind you, thinking is free, hormones aren't). The thought police was on my ass any time I felt unsafe with a dude or situation.
Now that I'm older I see a lot more men saying "I was abused" as they emotionally abused every gf they had , getting fast sex and moving on.
A guy loudly proclaiming "she stabbed me and hit me with a car!" Why? coming from an emotionally abusive supervisor I'm literally like "I don't care, shut up" as he's trying to publicly humiliate his ex at her old job. Months later "he's trying to get back with her".
Like fuck off, shut up, you obviously did something and you know what it is. So he's prancing around calling her a druggy and she's the one that stays away while he tries getting her back, I'm fucking sorry. You weren't hurt or abused.
Oh and the assistant store manager I had that would scream at me and swear at me would blame it on the fact that his father was emotionally abusive. (The dude was like 60 years old and made six figures) literally trapping me into giving him therapy and a pity party on the sales floor while I make 18 an hour with a one hour commute.
Men don't get abused, and if they do.
Go gEt a TheRapIsT and stop playing the victim.
On A lighter note here's my singledom journey being a depressed nuerodivergent person with complex PTSD and a dash of contempt for males.
I bought a fake wedding ring.
I spend my days exercising at the gym.
Watching videos on neurology and the food industry so I can tackle unhealthy habits at the source.
Trying to learn Spanish on Duolingo
I'm planning out my finances and trying to buy a condo maybe next year.
I'm playing tears of the kingdom, good game, kinda exhausting to play at times because of the many different new mechanics.
Reading books on body language and car repairs.
Watching YouTube videos to learn more about my field of work.
Driving around to different hiking trails and even running around at 2 am just to avoid men + traffic+ sunlight (all the terrible things).
Seeing my family and accidentally buying toys for my youngest sister each week (8 years old), teaching her self defense against men and buying yummy food for us to try.
Trying to figure out how I can optimize my existence, whether it's taking Alpha-GPC to compensate for repressed memories or just exercising more. Maybe viewing studies on how to prevent Alzheimer's / diabetes.
I have friends but I don't rely on them, I must be privileged in the fact that my mother is supportive of my FDS lifestyle (I keep telling her to join) and that she stopped being an abusive pick-me.
Got my license (literally the best decision of my life, couldn't get my job without it).
So much more
Being single isn't about waiting for a man or "working on yourself" for the potential man or even about pretending it's fun or perfect. It's about optimizing yourself as a human being, learning things and growing as a person. My longest relationship was 2 years but during that time even though it was decent I still know in my heart that I've wasted my time cuddling and eating food with a boring libfem weeb. How much cuddling do you need? How much anime can you possibly watch while eating pork egg rice? Whats the point? When does it end? Relationships get in the way of growth, I know this is coming from a serial / survival dater (who did housework for scrotes and working while couch hopping mind you). None of it could possibly replace the potential freedom of just being single.
The male isn't the end goal because it's not a sure-fire way to happiness / safety.
You can be happy and single. I look at couples each day who just look miserable or the man won't shut up or the woman looks miserable and I'm like holy shit I'm so glad that's not me, I literally don't have to deal with a bitchy male, literally arguing about nothing constantly, couldn't be me.
Also a lot of middleclass men stay single on purpose, not because they're "unique" or even that they faced abuse like we all have. They think to themselves "If this isn't a sex slavery agreement why even bother?" You know damn well they'd pair up if we didn't have rights. Or even the alternative where they're not pressured by society to use an abusive male as a living arrangement. Like cool good for you, not only are you more likely to be a pedophile/shooter but you think you're one upping someone by staying single while contributing nothing to society at large congratulations. Thank you for using your singledom to buy anime figures and shower once a week, you're a real hero, a real Martyr that one. I'm not saying these men should pair up of course, I just think it's very telling that due to their privilege they don't feel the need to pair up because they have underage girl figures and mommy's condo "Who needs a date? I'm happy the way I am" of course you are fuckhead, of course. I'm only mad because because every time these dudes interact with anyone it HAS to benefit them, but they can't do the song and dance of dating? Fuck that, fuck right off!
End of super long post, I won't be able to browse this place often soon and I really want the single queens out there to know being single doesn't have to be boring and I want the newbies to know that their trauma is valid and they can have standards without thought policing and constant libfem gaslighting.
Hate men freely 🤘🐱🤘 someone's gotta do it.
It might be heartless but I avoid men who were sexually abused as kids. The risk of them making me feel victimized and dirty are very high, and the chance of them touching kids is much higher. As far as red flags go, that one is a black one for me 🏴 I have CPTDS too. I have never abused or raped anyone so I don't buy the whole trauma as an excuse thing. I agree that men that went their own way did so because they can't have a sex slave, I just wish more men left us alone. No opinions, no verbal abuse, no using us for sex.. just go your own way already.
Also if you're exercising and you do that whole "why do this if there's no man?" Thing, just remember exercising is more effective than SSRI's and therapy. It increases your lifespan, joint health, cognitive function and prevents Alzheimer's. You don't need a male centric excuse to take care of yourself and be healthy, same thing with healthy eating. Studying the food industry was a hoot 🐱 I have less brain fog and I feel more mentally stable.
You can read "Sugar salt fat" by Micheal moss or "Spark" by J.Ratey.
Learn new things! They'll change your life.
Every single man who complained to me about their trauma fell into 2 categories:
His "trauma" was actually a totally normal problem that everyone has that he was blowing out of proportion.
His "trauma" was actually completely made up, in order to earn my sympathy so that I'd be easier to manipulate.
For this reason, I don't have any sympathy for men and their "trauma" anymore. I've been burnt too many times.
When I was younger, guys liked to claim they were "emotionally raped" in a past relationship for pity points. I've never figured out exactly what that means, but as far as I can tell, it means that his exgirlfriend told him off about how badly he was treating her, and he felt mildly guilty about it.
I'm wary of men who claim they were abused, too. Boys are raised to be far more entitled than girls, so a lot of the time "abuse" means they were treated less than deferentially. Or it's an excuse for bad behavior. I dated a guy who every time I got angry with him for treating me like shit, he would say "I'm sorry, it's because of my past." as though it's a "get out of trouble free" card. If you know that your mommy issues are causing problems in your relationships, then it's on you to address those issues becore getting into a relationship. That's what women do all the time.
And I do realise that there are men who were abused as children, but in my experience, those men aren't as open to talking about it at the drop of a hat. They talk about it with their therapist and mabey a few close friends or family members, and they don't bring it up at every goddamn time someone else is getting attention that they want.