.png)
I'm sure there's others out there like me that spent their entire youth focusing on career/surviving/growing up in difficult situations that the thought of dating and what "I would want in a man" was the last thing on my mind. I never in my life considered the presence of a man something I needed to get me out of a difficult situation cause all the men in my life were deadbeats so everything either fell on my mom or me. I look to FDS and the handbook a lot of it was very self assuring for me because I do not want to ever settle for anything less however, I need to put myself out there some day or another. I feel prepared and self-assured that when I meet my ideal man I will be able to respond confidently in myself and always be safe. Currently happily single but I would like to have a positive idea of what I would want my next 5, 10, 15 years to look like in the event I get partnered up.
With that being said, I only ever dated 1 LVM scrote and never again that ended me up in a situationship. My one dealbreaker that has floated in my brain forever has been that "he has to be childfree/not want or expect kids with me". But that is only one trait, clearly there can be lvm with that one trait but also have unfavorable traits that keep adding to my dealbreaker list. I want to develop one solid master list of traits I want in a HVM so far I only have:
Childfree
Career oriented/business minded/money
open clear communication
affectionate towards me
is appreciative of me in his life and shows it.
has healthy hobbies, ideally hobbies that provide side income and aren't a void. (creative, volunteer work for example)
cleans up after himself
is clean and hygienic
consistently courts me even after things are official
generous
generous in bed primarily
fit
has gone to therapy
I want a fun/light hearted relationship with little crazy drama so he has to be funny. Not funny looking, not funny questionable habits, not funny stories about any scrote past behaviors. He HAS to be funny in conversation.
Regardless of what age I am, he has to be within +/- 2 years of my age at moment of contact.
mentally stable
emotionally stable
Cultured/from a different culture than me preferably/Well traveled but for the right reasons: not anyone that has traveled to get his PP wet.
he has to keep me safe and looks out for my safety.
supportive of me and my career/life.
This is more or less my quality traits for a partner that would garner and keep my attention for a long term healthy relationship is my goal. I put thought into this. I don't know how many do or don't align with FDS per the handbook however I come here to ask how does this sound and reflect towards a realistic healthy relationship?
I am serious when I say I never put thought into my standards and what I would want in a man, when I dated around I went on a lot of first dates with men for the sake of "mixing it up" with different looking men, various financial statuses, education status and none of it ever felt quite right.
I think its reasonable. It might look like a lot but wanting a loving, non-abusive man with a job, who doesn't want kids and is as fit as you, and bathes, isn't asking too much.
yes, we do not standard shame.
Your standards are yours and and yours alone. You don't owe anyone an explanation or apology for having them. Only you get to decide what you are willing to live with, what you're looking for, what you won't tolerate, what would make your life better. I think your list is perfectly reasonable and seems like the bare minimum, frankly. But even if it was something like, "Must be 6'5", bodybuilder physique, at least $1 million yearly income, multiple vacation properties around the world, free use of his private jet and chauffeurs, virgin" I wouldn't shame you for your standards. I might privately worry that they were unobtainable and that you were setting yourself up for disappointment if you weren't willing or able to compromise, but your standards are still yours to have! Never, ever, ever apologize for wanting what you want.
Scrotes love to try and shame women for not wanting to date short, fat, bald, ugly, poor, etc. Don't let anyone tell you what you're "supposed" to find attractive. I firmly believe there is a lid for every pot. :)
Tour standards look like mine (tho mine is a tad bit longer) and I’ve dated these men before. They exist. Keep your chin up! You’ll get your HVM one day.
These seem like bare minimum standards, so yes, they are completely reasonable.
There’s nothing wrong with your list! Nothing is too out there.
Theres no Such thing as having too high of standards
My standard was always: Cute enough to sleep with, smart with some ambition, and nice to me. I still haven't found that at age 47. The "nice to me" part has proved to be mission impossible. That said, I'd never tell you to lower your standards especially in the area of how he treats you. I could forgive a lot if a guy really loved and cared for me. But if my low standards can't be fulfilled, why would you lower yours? It's not like you'd be happy. If a guy can't meet your basic standards, you're far better off alone. I've compromised on everything from kids to height to weight to religion to finances, and it still never made amy of them be nice to me. Keep your standards high, and I don't think your standards are too unreasonable.
This is perfectly reasonable. Listed out like this it seems like a “lot” but you’re basically just asking for a hygienic man with a good sense of humor that you’re attracted to and treats you well, and also doesn’t want kids.
Totes reasonable.
Your list is basically the same as mine. Never settle. Standards high and no judgement from anyone on Fds as to what your standards are. They’re yours and yours alone. 💪🏻
I want to thank everyone that commented with their input. My goal for this list is to keep it on a spreadsheet for myself just to have and mentally remember when the time comes, also helps to organize my life a lot and take the guesswork out of any guy that wants to talk to me.