I need some help ladies. Men perceive me being spiritual and kind natured as being some sort of low maintenance girl when I am higher emotional maintenance then average. I expect a lot and I also provide myself with a really good life and expect that or better. Its like they say oh thank goodness a girl not focused on material and finances yet in my purse is my chanel lipstick I check my investments often and often start new passive incomes. I am just humble about it and don't show off. I also take such a long time to be intimate with someone like basically need to be engaged and they seem to think someone so soft and kind will be easy to manipulate and bed but I am also not. I am puzzled as fuck right now. Im not sure why loving nature, animals, grounding and growing my own organic vegetables is contributing to being perceived as someone who requires little effort. All these things give me hapiness and peace and require dedication. How do I more accurately represent myself as loving nature but requiring a man who has done all the emotional work and sees my life quality comes from a lot of work. Looking for practical tips on how to better self represent. My simple pleasure life is not a low effort life It irritates me that my favourite things give such an impression.
top of page
.png)
Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement
bottom of page
I get this a lot too. They think that nice = stupid. I've learned that there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. You can't win. If you're more assertive, then you're a bitch. If you're just yourself, they think you're dumb. Fuck em. They are idiots; they gon think idiot thoughts and perceive idiot perceptions. Just be vigilant and lay in wait. Then when they begin to take advantage, you attack and unleash your skills, usually by B&D and ice cold disdain and ghosting.
I don't think you need to change a thing.
Even if you come off more "high maintenance", the world is still full of low value men. The difference is they will put on an act at first, only to drop the pretense when they either can't keep it going, or they think they have you trapped.
This is worse, because there's a chance you might get attached before they cut the shit.
The way you are now, the worthless ones are showing their cards early, so you can discard them early.
There are advantages to being a "dumb fox". As in, more cunning than you appear.
They think kindness is weakness. it's a flaw on their part. Just Thank you, next, them.
Predators will always look for an easy victim. They will try it with a 'sweet and soft' woman, and wiith the 'boss babe' equally. He just doesn't see her as human, but prey.
Stay true, just maintain Better boundaries.
I am the exact same way. I used to see it as a weakness and get frustrated but looking back actually it saved me from so many bad men. If men think you are easy, they show their bad intentions quicker and you can weed them out brutally and right away. If they are stupid enough to see kindness as weakness then they are shallow and you wouldn’t want them anyways. There’s nothing you can do you can’t change your nature. Just keep weeding out bad men and a man of value who wants a girl who can support herself will see that in you.
Majority of men see kindness and empathy and a weakness to be be weaponized against you. I had a man once tell me " I saw your deep kindness and innocence and I took advantage of it. "
I would not recommend showing kindness towards men. I usually try to avoid them or have a neutral/poker face and I'm now very abrupt with them. I'm only kind and nice to women. However, be careful to set boundaries with pickmes, a few do try to take advantage, but most women including Pickmes will respect your boundary when you say no.
I don't know if this is helpful but here's a post from the original FDS on Reddit recommending to avoid showing kindness to men as it makes them see you as easy prey to mess with. The comment section is also interesting.
https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/tjvvyr/dont_describe_yourself_as_kind_or_empathetic_to/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
I'm sorry you are having these issues. Where are you meeting these men? They seem to be arriving with incorrect assumptions.
Sorry you're going through this. It's possible that they associate the things you're interested in with the "tradwife"-trope, and automatically assume you're that kind of low-maintenance pickme. I'd be careful about trying to present yourself as something you are not though. Where do you usually come across these kind of men? Maybe changing up your environment (where there are less scrotes like you described) could be helpful
I work in the arts and humanities sector where the women belong to this world also re associated with certain stereotypes. I face a variation of this problem as well. The only solution is — show them through your actions. Play dumb fox when they try to lowball you, don't say yes to anything below your standards. Men are superficial dumbfucks so obviously they jumped to conclusions the minute they saw you; so unfortunately they will have to find out the slow way that you are not some manic pixie granola girl of their fantasies but simply a hippie-ish chick who has her shit together as well.
I feel like I dont understand how the men express their belief that your are low maintenance. Are they offering coffee dates, saying " Im sure glad you're not like other girls" or maybe something else entirely?