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So I need advice from FEMALES not males who think it's "fine" that almost every apartment review within a 15 mile radius of the new office location is filled to the brim with "my teenage daughter can't leave the apartment anymore" "break and entry" "car theft, car break in" "drug deals all hours of the day". The men who live in the area have been like "welp crime happens everywhere what ya gonna do". Fuck that ... My current suburb is very safe.
Tl;Dr
Do you ladies think it's insane to drive 65 miles a day, 35 minutes one way/ 70 minutes round trip just to live in a safe area? Every man is like "oh there's crime everywhere no big deal" and my dad is pushing hard for me to move to the new office location to have a "short commute" but it's sketchy as fuck?
Every job I have had, I chose a commute similar to yours. A save and comfortable home is my #1 priority. Also you need a safe and reliable car. That means late model with power locks, high end run flat tires, triple a towing and a cell phone. The car should not look flashy and no bumper stickers or decals. You want it to look forgettable.
Looking at the brightside commuting is time you can spend listening to music and podcasts you like. I fully support your decision to live somewhere safe. When I chose to live alone I moved across town to a place that had the best intersection of lowest crime rate and what I can afford to rent.
It really depends where you are and what you do. Where I am, you’d be hard pressed to live less than an hour to work (one way) and people in the nicest (nice includes safe and leafy) suburbs up to 2 hours. In terms of what you do, can this be done (at least partially) remotely? having a long commute every day is really hard on the system but safety is a must imo. I hope you find the balance that works for you.
Why is it anyone else’s business? Of course it’s fine to commute so you can live in a safe area! 35 minutes isn’t even that long as far as commutes can go. If you’re happy where you are, there’s no reason whatsoever to move
I live like 30-40 minutes away and it's well worth it. The commute and traffic sucks, but I lived way closer and was always irritated due to my ghetto neighbors. My current area is so much nicer & cleaner and makes me a lot happier
I know some people commute that far due to cheaper housing or that they have a home and cannot easily move. If the job is great and gives a nice salary, I would keep it. Also, better to feel safe than on your toes at your place.
Safe area is so much better. I used to have a long commute, over an hour each way, but that was also just normal for the city I lived in. Yep, I was exhausted. I’d look for another job too.
Where I live, a 35 minute commute is “not bad!” Anything under an hour is manageable in my opinion. Personally I’d pick a 35 min commute and living safely and comfortably. My home is very important to me and I spend a lot of time there. I chose to pay more to live somewhere I felt very safe because it was more important to me than the money.
Of course you are being smart! You deserve to live in a cosy suburb and be happy!
If you can find a job (with comensurate pay and conditions) closer to home, then that might be good. If not, keep commuting.
That was my normal commute precovid. Now remote forever! Funny thing is that me being in the suburbs turned out to be perfect when the apocalypse happened. Self isolation in a big townhouse in a leafy neighrborhood beats tiny overpriced condo!
They don't see the trouble with moving because they generally don't do the packing. That's girlfriend/wife work, they get to just move all the boxes and large furniture. Then when we get to the new place guess who gets to do the unpacking and "make it feel like home again"? Guess who doesn't care if their silverware and cookware is packed in boxes because "oh well I'll just eat take out?"
And yes, our homes are our sanctuaries and when we choose where to live our safety should be priority. I want to be able to walk the dog at night. Knowing that your coworkers who live closer to work are having dangerous encounters is all I need to hear to know you are making the right call.
70 minute round trip is not all that long. You live where you are safe and where you feel safe! I've moved to a village which increased my commute, and later on in my career I simply wouldn't take any jobs that required more than an hour's drive one way, and even later on I worked from home exclusively (language based jobs, so all possible online). You don't need to put yourself in danger to make money if you can make it by having a little bit of discomfort from the commute.
I drive 40 miles/45 minutes to work each way. I love my car. I love my home. The commute is absolutely worth it.
I understand. But in the end it’s only a job. You can find a way to work through it. The main thing is you’ve only got one body, one life so you need to look after yourself as best as you can. Ignore the stupid men who don’t get it. You’ve got this!
If I were in your place I’d do exactly the same thing. It sounds like such a stressful way to live - surely you can both live AND work in a safe area? You don’t have to move houses but perhaps you can get a new job? I’m only saying this because it doesn’t seem sustainable in the long term. If your colleagues have already been assaulted chances are you might be too sooner or later.
People underestimate the lifelong effects of stress and sleep deprivation. It literally takes years off your life, and your final years will be miserable, if you live in a stressful location, on high alert, and have poor quality sleep. I'd absolutely stay in the safe location, and keep an eye out for the decay creep into your suburb. Things are going to get worse before they get better.