“I’m not hitting on you”

Why would you assume they're telling you the truth? The chances are super high that they *are* hitting on you.

I had a male "friend" years ago, who did something similar. We were texting about a disagreement we were having. Then, he texted something like "I see you as a FRIEND". Like he fr capitalized friend. It was so gross and weird bc 1. I never ever would have dated him and 2. He was basically implying that he was rejecting me. To him, it was some kind of power move.

I cannot remember what the disagreement was about but it had nothing to do with dating or women or anything like that. I think he was one of those guys that thinks any disagreement between a man and a woman has to be related to sexual tension or something, or that the woman is always trying to manipulate a man into a relationship. I should have blocked him then bc later he would send me YT videos about how single moms are the scourge of the Earth. The last time, I responded by asking him why he would send me that trash, and he never responded again. 🤣

I find these types to be overly defensive. They usually are or they have a weird thing where they’ve been “accused” of flirting before. Very LVM.

Sometimes its a LVM/PUA "power move." Shut it down, easily with the following: "I'm not hitting on you. " "Thank goodness." "I'm not hitting on you." "Excellent." (My favorite.) "I'm not hitting on you." "That's a relief." (Second favorite.) "I'm not hitting on you. " "I know. It would be weird for a friend to hit on me." "I'm not hitting on you. " "Of course not. Could you imagine it's together. Me with you? It'd never work.

Whenever I hear this I assume everything they say is the opposite. Works wonders. Also see:

"I only wanted to hug you!"

"I was just trying to be professional!"

"I was just being nice!"

"YOU are being awkward/weird!"

I have found that men who hit on women who are clear that they don't want to be hit on, then deny doing so have really bad boundaries and are deceptive. They are cool with tricking you into letting down your guard around them. These are men you don't even want to keep in your outer orbit of acquaintances if it can be helped. They are unsafe.

I don't think anyone can agree what "hitting on" even means. I see so many people say "my married friend's husband hit on me" but what does that even consist of? Talking to you? It is ok to talk to another human being. I would only consider a man to be hitting on me if he actively compliments me in an excessive way or touched me. Maybe this is a cultural thing, and I don't understand American terms. In my country, unless you are actually kissing each other, talking or having an interesting conversation means nothing.

It’s the new “not to sound racist…”

Well a lot of women assume that when men approach us that’s what their intentions are. I like the clarification honestly

To protect their ego