I'm not attracted to guys of my country.

Trust your gut. They acted that way because they wanted to break down your standards to a level they were able to meet, thus maintaining their sexual access to you (even if only in their minds). Men ragging on a woman for ANY reason is a red flag, and men saying your standards or what you find attractive is impossible is another huge red flag.

Next time they do this, just say, "why you so mad? It's not like you have a sliver of hope with me anyway" and watch them flounder trying not to reveal their true intentions. Or say, "not impossible, I mean, he already exists so why would I settle for one of you dusties?" (but only if you're comfortable doing that, I get a kick out of killing the hopes of mediocre men with all the audacity when they put me on the spot like this).

Tell them that they’re being racist for being offended that you found a Chinese actor attractive. Even if it’s not true. Be like “wow, i didn’t know you were racist.” and when they try to defend themselves, say something like “well, you should ask yourself exactly why you’re so offended that I think he’s attractive. a lot of people are racist and don’t realize it.” It’s all about shifting the narrative, like they constantly do to us.

Yeah, that's gaslighting you into lowering your standards. If men wanted to step up they could. They don't need to be unkempt; they don't need to be stingy; they don't need to have hideous beards (beards usually hide an even more hideous face though - beware the bearded man).

I have 2 male friends in Japan and whenever I'm in town, they organise where we're meeting for our dinner catch-ups; they pay EVERY TIME without fail; they're immaculately groomed always. These are my FRIENDS, not even romantic relationships. Last time I was out with them a few years ago in Tokyo, the table next to us was a group of around six 20-something men and women and they were splitting the bill. My friend saw it and looked at us in disbelief and said, 'I can't fathom that. The men should be paying'. My other friend agreed wholeheartedly. So the younger generation might be changing. But I do think that some cultures are aghast by the very idea of 50-50 dating, or going out in public unkempt or unwashed. That's not to say they don't have pretty serious problems as patriarchal, sexist societies of course. (Hello girl infanticide in China; huge sex industry in Japan and Korea, etc. 😰)

I find that in many couples I come across, in a lot of them the women are prettier but not because they're prettier, I mean the women unlike the men do care about their appearances, and we have a bunch of men on the internet pretending to be visual creatures 😂.

Definitely gaslighting alright! Can’t face the reality that they’re not shit.

Keep those standards 🙌🏻

Most men gaslight women when they can't meet the women's standards. It's a fact of life.

I don't have much to add other than my agreement that 50/50 culture is disgusting and even more pervasive in Western and Northern Europe than in the U.S. (where I'm from). It truly makes me sick, the way men in libfem European countries expect women to take on all the risks of sex and emotional attachment without even attempting to compensate for the power disparity between men and women.

Western and Northern European men LOVE to brag about how gender-equal their cultures are. Their level of self-delusion is unreal.

Hi QuackBaby! Welcome back 🤗. I was thinking about your posts recently wondering ”where you’ve been”. I’m glad to hear you’re doing okay 🙂.

You’re not alone. As a fellow European, I’m also not attracted to men in my country. For *exactly* the same reasons you’ve mentioned: unkept “pube” beards 🤢, beer belly, wanting to “go Dutch” on literally everything (except for housework and childrearing because that’s a wOmAan’S jOb 🥴), and their idea of a date being coffee at best, walk at worst. Don’t even get me started on their lack of hobbies, rampant misogyny, functional alcoholism, etc. etc.

Now I’m living in East Asia and the men objectively do look better. Or at least, they take better care of themselves. They are expected here to be clean shaved, slim, with nicely done hair and clean ass (😂). They are also socialized to pay for the dates (at least the first couple of) and don’t expect you to “put out” on the first date (at least not the scroties ones do). HOWEVER, this comes with a huge drawback - they expect the women to be extremely submissive and put up with their BS. Timid, obedient, without negative emotions, always ready to support them, never complain, cook and clean, take care of their kids, etc. So yes, on one hand, they do look and act good (at least on paper), but on the other hand, they have certain (sexist) expectations of you, too. Not to mention, if you’re not from their country, they want to just date you at best, use you as a “token foreigner” at worse. So… is it all worth it? I’ll leave that up to you.

I’d say that the “best deal” would be to find someone of Asian descent, but born and living in a Western country. But in Europe, good luck with that, it’s still slim pickings 🫤.

Not long ago I sat on a bench and the man next to me happened to speak my native language. We talked a bit and since he was my elder, I asked to him about his marital status. He didn't mind telling me and then he asked me what I look for in a man. I said that first it's his appearance and then he's character, he went on to tell me that I shouldn't judge and choose based on appearances but I disagreed. The appearance and the way someone choose to appear tells a lot about oneself, and I don't see myself being intimate with someone who's physic don't please me. I'm not like a certain kind of man, I won't fuck every moving thing out of desperation. Our choices in handsome and good men are soo limited.

So many men get their panties ruffled cuz of k-pop level guys who put in effort lawl. Mad cuz bad lol.

Pube beard! This is the term I've been looking for to describe it.

Try Southern Europe...much better looking men there.

I've found in Europe or really most countries the women look so much better than the men. Only country where I thought the majority of the men were extremely attractive was Switzerland. Only been to Geneva and Zurich but the men were all dressed nicely in suits and in very good shape.

Hello !

I think I can relate to you. I live in Europe but I am mixed (my mum is from Africa and she was the one raising me alone), therefore I am more on the traditional side (not 50/50, effort, etc). I won't tell my country but I struggle a lot because the only guy that can meet my cultural criteria are african or asian (no south american people in my country) and universities are generally full white.

Obviously, men from other culture have flaws. You need to get some experience to pinpoint them because sometimes it will take time to detect. It can be very hidden. HOWEVER, Western men are very... feminized (in a bad way, not in a badass way!). They act as if they were the prize, they wanna be the princess in the relation, they're accusing you of gold digging (guy you just paid me a McDonald! not a ring!) for everything and nothing. AND on top of that, they expect you to do all the chores by yourself !!!! That's too much for me. The last time I dated a western men (it was 3 years ago and it lasted 1,5 years. I was 19), I ended up VERY TIRED ! I was CONSTANTLY tired. He didn't go 50/50 (lol I was "lucky") but HE COMPLAINED about paying me stuff ! Moreover, I had to put a lot of labor, not only on the chores but also on the emotional side (he was depressed), all of that while him being UNGRATEFUL and still saying I was there for money ! He was not doing anything. I was planning everything. He never helped me plan anything ever, even when I did ask him. They don't have values anymore ! Besides, I was doing academically better than him and he resented me for it (but this one is not related to culture hahaha).

Yes, they don't have that provider mindset. They think they are entitled to a relationship.

It's complicated. Moreover, some people from other culture also tend to adopt this "50/50 mentality". They should be a little bit westernized but not too much!!! Be careful!!

OP, are you from the same country as me?? A very small one, perhaps? :)

I have a feeling we are from the same country haha. Is it Eastern European?

Can you dm me the country? I have a hunch based on my travels to a certain country and the groups of guys I've seen in other countries there for stag parties.

Sorry - this is not a recent post but I found it under Similar Posts. This is the exact, exact, exact same problem I have with American men. I can't stand it. I don't know how any of these women are pairing up with them, either. FDS isn't the right place to talk about how I feel about the women going for these men, but I sure wish they would not. I am struggled with singleness for the third decade in a row now, because of this problem in America. And here I thought European men might be at least more to look at.