How to vet a man to know if I am his type?

my suggestion is: stop centering men. you must care about who is YOUR type. he spends energy trying to find out if you are his type, and you spend energy vetting to find out if he is your type. set your standards, level up and vet to find a HVM who's your type. that's it.

Men with physical preferences are porn users. Look at nature, it is always the female that sexually selects based on physical characteristics. Steer away from scrotes that show a preference for one trait or another. HVM will seek you out because of your queen energy and high standards, not because your hair color is brown or black. This does not mean you're not entitled to your own physical preferences, you absolutely are.

Real love comes from falling in love with a soul and not a body type. Having clear body types is probably from watching porn.

Here's my take:

If a man has a "type", any discernible type whatsoever, you should block and delete.

You don't want to be a man's "type". If you are, he will have very controlling, misogynistic notions of how you should behave. For example, I am of East Asian descent and live in the U.S., and I have spent the greater part of my life fending off Asian fetishists. Any non-East Asian man who prefers to date East Asian women is a flaming red flag of a fetishist.

That said, you don't want to be a man's "not-type", as you pointed out in your post. For example, as a woman with East Asian features, if I find out a man prefers Scandinavian blondes, then I’ll avoid him.

Here's what I'd do:

1. Look at his social media. Fetishists often display their fetishism in the sorts of women they befriend on social media. I have ferreted out many a racial fetishist this way.

2. Listen to him talk. Notice what he looks at. 99% of the time, they'll make their physical preferences clear as you get to know them. (Also, if he "looks at" other women when he is with you, you should block and delete regardless.)

3. Listen to his friends talk. Sometimes, they'll reveal what his type is. And if it's clearly not you, then you'll know to block and delete.

I would worry more about whether he is your type. I am confused that you say you could look up how his exes "look"? Yet you want him to "love all of you"? Dating is about so much more than physical appearances, but so you know most men would swipe right on women regardless of what "look" they have. Also, low value men date any women they can get so looking into their past matches won't give you any clues. Ex stalking is a pointless rabbit hole of insecurity, and an invasion of privacy for the other parties. Focus on what you want, let him worry about what he wants.

There's no special vetting, just normal vetting. FDS is enough for that. I believe that following and applying FDS's rules and guidelines is more than enough to repel and filter guys like that. Besides, if a guy has "a type", like "redhaired quirky women with freckles who play the ukulele" then he obviously doesn't see women as individual human beings - more like breathing dolls to cater to him. You wouldn't want a guy like that anyway, would you? So even though you hypothetically would be some guy's type, it doesn't mean jack shit if he doesn't respect you and treat you well. He needs to see you as a human being, not a mold. I'm obviously not saying that it's not okay to have preferences. Of course it is, I have those too! It's just that I used to have a type before and it wasn't sustainable at all. All I kept doing was hurting myself, wasting my time and going in circles. I kept doing the same mistakes and wondering why things aren't improving lmao. So yeah, it's not good to have a type.

It’s more about whether HE is YOUR type, in that is he making your life better, or worse, objectively. Placing your self worth into the hands of someone else’s “type” is not the right direction.

if he is elevating your life because you enjoy his company, contribution, kindness, intelligence, then and only them is he MAYBE worth your time.

Pay a LOT more attention to how a man makes you FEEL. Therein lies your answer.