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Sliding into dms, yes or no? If so, how do you do it in a high value way?
Post edit:
I suspect he is HV, I know I have no way of fully knowing.
I don't know him and have little hope of meeting him organically as he live sin the next town over. He currently doesn't know I exist, hence the question. I'm not asking how to chase him.
You simply cannot determine a man is HV off his Instagram account. Most people portray themselves in the best light possible. It’s human behavior for social validation. Please read the handbook posts SayNad has painstakingly curated, bc a question about the merits of pursuing a man off instagram instinctively contradicts the basis of FDS principles.
And I’ve been in a position where I was sort of introduced to this athlete who’s a friend of a friend. The mutual friend tried to set us up and obviously showed my Instagram, he sent a connection request and said nothing. I knew after a few days he wasn’t keen and moved on. I liked a story post of his parents once. That was a sort of confirmation of disinterest bc an interested man will actively pursue. The mutual friend also warned that he’s being pressured to marry but wants to enjoy being young and rich. Last I heard he was frolicking with models.
My point is he knows my insta, he’s seen me. Messaging him would’ve been useless or maybe he’d have indulged for sex. So this way I prevent myself from investing any energy at all in a lukewarm connection.
He later sent a flame emoji to one of my dancing posts. Didn’t react or even like it bc why feed his ego and thank him for noticing me. He’s in the NFL, so imagine all the attention he gets. I also don’t respond to low effort. I don’t think I’ve lost out on the love of my life bc I didn’t slide in his dms. My point is, he’s not interested unless he pursues. And either way you save yourself from wasted energy.
I see you’ve reiterated that you trust your judgement which is great. But the purpose of responding to your question (is not to berate or chide) and this platform in general is to strategize, commiserate and advise. And there’s a reason why many have advised you against this. So a part of you, despite your strong conviction must be unsure which is why you’re asking.
We have got to stop throwing around the hvm label willy nilly. There is absolutely no way to know a man is hvm through Instagram. And under no circumstances should you dm them.
I swear I don't mean to be rude, but if you can't see a cute man that does the bare minimum without thinking of a thousand ways to catch his attention, you probably need to work on loving yourself and your own company a bit more. The "dating strategy" doesn't stand for "how to get a rich, handsome, good man 101", but the point of this forum is to teach us to protect ourselves from men that will not add anything or will actively damage our life emotionally, financially and even physically. Also, as other people pointed out, he probably saw you, and if he didn't match with you nor interacted with you on insta, chances are he's not interested. In this case, even if he's great, we have to accept that not everyone that's HV will like us, and it doesn't mean we're not good enough, but that we're not compatible. A true HVM would be vetting his pontential partners for compatibility too.
Why even be here if you’re not listening to anyones advice, clearly haven’t read the handbook, etc :/
Hey Turtlepower 😃 There is a post on this forum by luxurylover that you might find helpful. It's called: "Why chasing a man will always be a bad idea"
Why exactly doesn't he know about your presence? Is this a random guy you found on insta? Are you following him already? Does he follow you back? Just wondering.
If it were me I probably would not DM him because that would amount to chasing him - I know what you're saying about how you want to make your presence known but how do you know he doesn't already know about you - I'm assuming you've followed him already and that he is like most people who might briefly check out who their new follower is. In this case maybe I'd leave it to just liking and commenting on his posts that interest you (but don't go overboard with it) but idk, I'm curious to hear what others say.
How do you know this guy is hv? I don't think sliding into a guy's dms is a good idea.
You are rude and combative. You aren't here to learn, and unfortunately for you, you won't find anyone here to encourage your pickme tendencies. Arguing with those with hard-earned wisdom will teach you absolutely nothing. Go ahead and make a fool of yourself, you are in charge of yourself. Keep calling this place a cult if you want, and sneer at the wisdom contained in the handbook. Just don't come crying to us when you don't get the results you're hoping for, because not many will want to waste more time engaging with you.
I agree. Let him message first and then match his energy. Don’t reach out first. If he’s HV he will want to meet up soon and not just get into a text situationship.