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In an effort to date more strategically, I have decided that I will match a man's energy. If he is texting a lot, I will text a lot. If he is calling, I will also call. If he is making plans, I will be receptive to those plans. However, if a man is not putting forth effort, communication, or interest I will mirror that. This strategy has been very useful, as I find that I am less emotionally triggered.
However, the man I am seeing seems to be extremely irritated by me mirroring his behavior and communication. For example, I flew to visit another city to attend a concert with my sister. As I was in the plane, I texted to let him know I made it safely to the airport and on the aircraft. He simply "liked" the iMessage but did not send a message wishing me safe travels or anything like that. So I figured he was busy or simply didn't want to engage in a text exchange, therefore, I didn't find it necessary to send another message. The following day was the concert and I was busy getting all dolled up and spending time with my sister. The concert was incredible! Beyoncé killed it. The day after the concert I sent him pictures and videos of the concert. He then proceeded to "like" the IMessage and photos. It seemed weird he simply "liked" the message and photos rather than sending a written message, as he knows I was so excited to see Beyoncé, and I put a lot of effort into looking incredible that night. I figured that he was distancing him self, so I did not send messages the following day. The day after I sent the photos was the day I was supposed to fly back home, but my sister got really sick with a stomach flu so I decided to extend my trip one day. When I finally flew back he sent me a message saying, "hey, are you ok?" When I landed I called him and his tone was annoyed, he claimed that "my communication hasn't been stellar". However, he never once wrote back to any of the messages I sent or called me. Communication is a two way street. It seems manipulative for him to blame me for not communicating when he wasn't receptive to my attempts to start conversation with him. He has since been distancing and silencing himself by taking hours to respond to my texts, and when I expressed that I missed him he didn't respond at all. It feels like he is punishing me, and I'm not sure why. How do I respond to his silent treatments and distancing? Has he maybe found someone else?
If a guy is making you write paragraphs analyzing his minute behaviors, it's a block and delete
Block and delete girl, if he can’t even communicate right or even give you the light of day and simply just likes your messages that’s not a guy you should be wasting time on, so how do you handle a man distancing and giving silent treatment, it’s simple, you don’t.
Survey says..........
My golden rule: if I ever feel like I have to "match a man's energy" by toning down the energy or frequency of my communication, then I'm already settling, and it's an immediate block and delete.
You, as the woman, set the tone for the relationship. If he can't match YOUR tone, he's not for you. BLOCK AND DELETE.
P.S. With your specific situation, from an outsider's perspective, it sounds like you're texting into the void. He's making you look like a goddamn dancing monkey. Lose him yesterday.
Do not tolerate this treatment. End it and find someone who adores you and puts in effort.
Don't bother with him. Move on.
Block and delete.
Read the handbook.
His Reason; He's pissed his tactics aren't working on you.
Appropriate Response; Block and delete.
Another comment in the BLOCK category !
This guy is showing red flags... as you said, he is manipulative. You don't want a manipulative guy. On to the next !
This was my ex. I stupidly gave him more chances- believing I was in the wrong .
One time he refused to call or text for several days to manipulate me.
I wish I knew about FDS then !!!!
There is never a need to answer why, just follow up action of B+D.
Why match his energy? If he's not giving you what you need, dump and block. Don't screw around with them.
This reminds me of the post about guys deliberately putting women "on the backfoot".
Basically, making you think you're doing something wrong, in order to trick you into feeling like you need to prove yourself to him.
Don't fall for it. Like everyone else is already saying, block and delete his ass.
How to handle a man distancing and & giving silent treatment?
Do the same but permanently ;)
Just block and delete. The lack of investment and interest would never stop.
Ha! I had one of these. I really wish I’d taken heed of the block and delete option when the last mr dust through similar dust my way. I made the mistake of getting further hurt by seeking clarity from him.
Show him what’s up and hit B+D.
When he said your communication hasn’t been stellar, what did you say back?
His communication was ….. 🚮
Block and delete! Also stop telling him every little detail about your life. Stay busy, have plans and never text him often.
Move on.
There is nothing to "handle". You just block and delete.