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I've encountered people like that my whole life. At school I had situations where a woman would try to make others girls at class, who were my friends, to dislike me and spread lies about me being fake and others things. Now at university I suspect I may be dealing with this again. There's two girls I sense don't really like me at all and always have a weird attitude about me and one of them secretly thinks she's better than everyone in the class and more mature than everyone ( she's is in her early 20s) but is fake nice in front of everyone ( I know this because she told me in one conversation how she thinks everyone there are so immature and arrogant. But I see this attitude more on her than I see on the other people from our class).
I have a gut feeling that she may be talking badly about me behind my back and that's why I always feel uncomfortable and anxious around her. But the most strange thing is that I tried to form a friendship with her but she didn't reciprocate at all and treated me like a second option but then when I finally found two good friends who actually treat me with respect she's didn't like it at all. And then proceeded to force a conversation asking me why I decided to distance myself from her while not really understanding my reasons, when I don't own her anything.
Have you deal with anything similar? And what you did?
Unfortunately , frenemies are so common everywhere. Your gut feeling is correct especially if she is jealous that you found two solid friendships. She sounds very narcissistic and draining to be around.
When it comes to these more professional settings, just politely ghost them. Distance yourself from them, don’t hang out with them, don’t go deeper into the viper den. Grey rock them if you have to talk to them, make yourself seem boring and they will lose interest and leave you alone most likely.
Don’t waste your precious energy on people like that. Your intuition is always correct if you feel there’s something off about someone
I've had a girl do that to me too.
I remember that she was new to my youth church and when we got to the part of the service where new people stand up and everyone goes to greet the new person, she avoided shaking my hand.
Every time I'd see her at church, she'd ignore me and if we were ever in a group, talking to people, she'd be the only to not talk to me. Later on, she told a friend of mine that was also her friend that I was not very friendly and didn't try to get to know her. I was amazed by her audacity.
Frenemies like the ones you're encountering are pickmes that are bubbling with insecurity. How brazen of her to ask you why you weren't trying to get to know her?! I swear people like her have broken brains where one minute they like a person, then dislike them then go back to liking them, only to dislike them and so on. Girls like this one don't like themselves and show it by being all over the place in behaviour - e.g. not wanting to be your friend but then getting bothered by you being friends with others. Their insecurity shows up in them being hot and cold, competitive, etc. They have major issues so just keep your distance from them. They need help.