I can’t fathom being with any men I have known. Personally the men I grew up around were horrible, family and friends. Dating wise not great, but also nothing crazy. With everything going on and has been going on, I cannot find myself dating a man. That’s not too say all men are shit, because I do see couples in healthy relationship and the man is a good man. But I don’t know if I’ll find that, a man with genuine good character. I’ve been abstinent for a couple years now and I’m turning 30 lmao and idk if that’s gonna change. Sometime I think maybe I’m a lesbian but I’m not attracted to women that way lmao and the pain and hurt towards women from men just makes me resentful towards men in general. Idk feeling kinda disappointed about reality? I think given the election, the things I’m seeing is just make it worse. Any thoughts/advice?
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I don't know how to be with men either and I don't care anymore. I now consider myself lucky to be on the asexual spectrum and moderately separatistic. I believe disappointment will shift into acceptance if you remain single long enough and don't let others damage your self-esteem. I can't say I'm happy, but I know this aspect of my life is not a problem.
Most of the guys I had crushes on in high school turned out to be either rapists or think rape is funny.
They put on a good/hurt guy facade though.
in your current state of mind, you won't be able to be in a healthy relationship. so you have two options:
Take your time to heal and only after that go back to being available. note that i'm not saying you should go back to looking for a man. you'll be found by a HVM who knows how privileged he is to have a woman in his life. they chase, you choose.
Embrace that fact that you simply cannot trust men and be a solo woman. AFAIK, single women with no children are the happiest demographic, so i'd say you're in for a treat. It's the path i have chosen to myself and so far, no regrets (3 years in already).
Irrespective of which path you choose, you absolutely need to be aware of the very real possibility that you may never find love. it's like when you have a job that is stable and good, but you know for a fact that the economy changes and you could lose that job anytime. you need to be prepared for a solo life and you need to be ok with it. once yuo find that inner peace, you'll spot LVM from a mile away because you won't fear lonelyness nor rejection. only a truly HVM will be worth tha hastle of a relationship.
I gave them 110% and accepted abuse, so god knows. Only have two good exes.