The handbooks advises us not to have crushes on guys as it leads to nothing good for us. Let's say you find yourself having feelings for a guy who is not pursuing you at the moment. While you can remind yourself not to have crushes, it's sometimes hard not to have physiological reactions such as blushing. How can we hide our feelings for a guy?
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I think rather than hiding feelings that exist, its best to learn to control our feelings in the first place. Obviously this can be tricky but it does get easier. Some things that have helped me are...
Dont daydream about them
Keep a list of things you like and (especially)dislike about them and be HONEST with yourself about the things you dont like. This also helps you learn what your standards and preferances are for next time.
Keep a list of red and yellow flags, no matter how small
Dont see him more than once a week for the first few months
Dont be texting/calling etc all the time
Stay grounded and realistic. Know that its highly likely he goes home after your romantic date and looks at porn because most men nowadays are porn addicts. Know that he does gross stuff, stuff only men do and also stuff all humans do(bodily functions lol)
Assume he's crap 🤣
I've been struggling with a man I have to see that works at a neighboring business near my workplace. I'm very attracted to him physically and my boss often sends me to handle stuff for our business with him. It's also awkward because he will come into my business.
So try to keep the interactions minimal. Don't seek him. Don't pursue him. When I do have to talk to him, I always mention hey we have this issue or my boss sent me. He knows that I'm always business.
If I do happen to see him otherwise I'll say hello and keep busy.
Write things down: does he have any red flags? What were your first impressions? Do other people mention concerning things about him? Watch for inconsistencies in his behavior they're telling of a mask slipping.
What has he done for you? How, if at all, did he add value to your life? How has he gone above and beyond? What effort does he put in?
Consider if you're just horny. When I'm getting close to my period I'll always get horny and be lusting a lot. Being aware ans taking care of myself often takes care of the issue.
Keeping busy with other things in life: stereotypical response but plan a night with friends, call up a family member, hit the gym, make a great meal, etc do something that requires some effort and it'll help keep your mind off it. I try to avoid anything "romantic" in media, avoid shopping sexy clothes, etc because then I'll fantasize about my crush.
When you do see him in person, no matter how you feel inside like butterflies and blushing, try to remain calm. Generally, the less you say the better. Try to not overly stare at him. Make sure to keep yourpersonal space.
The best thing that breaks a crush for me is having flashback fantasies to when I was young and lived with a LVM. the apartment was always gross, he wouldn't pickup after himself and I told him I wouldn't be picking up after him. The one day I came home to a stuffed stinky pile of dishes, and poop smears in the toliet and toothpaste tracks in the sink and facial hair clippings all over the sink as well. Lvm was sitting on his ass playing some new video game he just dropped $75 on and started complaining to ME about HIS mess. 🥴 basically now I try imagining my crush in that dirty apartment- because that's the reality of LVM. Assume they are all pornsick, bad with money, lazy LVM in an extreme sense until they're vetted and consistently prove otherwise. Because now when I see my crush, sure he's cute, but I'd be damned to be in that situation again.
With crushes you see men with rose tinted glasses, When I ask women why do they complain about scrotes while they chose a man like that? the first thing they say is they chose men out of love or they were so in love or had a major crush.
Always choose men with the mind, what does he offer what can he do for you that other people can't and then allow feelings to develop but not before that. Men are not like movies where they are nice to you and wants to do whats in your best interest. In reality most men are trash.
All of our reactions are part of some kind of conditioning, social or biological. If you're blushing instead of being on the defense around a guy, it's because you aren't accepting that most men are a danger to you. You can't hide that kind of stuff, but you should probably be careful of your mindset. A dude is more likely to date rape you than to emotionally connect with you or see you as a real person.
Well just dont tell him. Dont get caught staring at him and keep the conversations brief. It's ok if you giggle or blush a little as that could be interpreted as shyness. But the most important thing is not to chase or initiate anything, even conversations.
I don’t think it’s necessary to hide your feelings from him. It doesn’t matter if he notices your blushing or other signs of attraction, it matters that you aren’t sitting around hoping he will or won’t notice. Focus on more important things.
I've noticed that there's no use trying to suppress any kind of feelings - you push them under the surface, time goes on, and then they come back twice as strong because you didn't let yourself feel them naturally in the first place. It's also practically impossible to control your physical reactions around ppl you find attractive (it's basic biology) so just forget about it. But here's the thing: feeling your feelings and acting on them are two different things. There's no point in trying to fight against your feelings but you can just let them be. Let it all flow through you and after a while you'll notice that they are gone or at least milder. Do absolutely nothing about it. We don't chase men! If your crush is not doing any moves it means that he's not interested, and that's all the info you'll need. Admitting that fact might also help you to get over that crush.
This won't be a popular response, but eh, here goes:
Stop screwing and dating men. There's a tendency on here to chastise women for doing the pickme dance, i.e., believe in fairytales, only to prioritize the fairytale of the HVM. Frankly, if you are actively dating men, then you are doing the pickme dance.
Instead, evaluate immediate priorities. Do you have a decent salary? Do you have a solid support system? Are you financially stable? Do you have hobbies and activities outside of work? Is your health stable? If the answer to any of these questions is no, then abandon ship and focus your attention on these. I have found that women seek out cocks when they're bored or feel like they're "missing something." Usually, they've deluded themselves into thinking that the LifeScript will solve it, i.e., marriage and brats. The reality, however, is that marriage and brats add to that widening gap, mainly because they haven't addressed the fundamentals. Then they end up unhappy, divorced, poor, and forever dependent. Women who are independent, healthy adults rarely have time or need for dick.