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This question was inspired by a recent post about an LVM who waited 10 minutes to pay the dinner bill:
https://www.thefemaledatingstrategy.com/forum/scrotation-report-3/went-on-a-dinner-date-tonight-from-hinge-he-left-the-check-on-the-table-for-like-10-minutes
We can all agree that when a man lets the check sit on the table for too long, he marks himself as an LVM.
My question:
How much time is "too long" by FDS standards?
Ideally, the check should never hit the table (i.e., he grabs the bill directly from the waiter), but depending on the circumstance, this may not always be possible.
He should whip out his wallet like those cowboys in old Wild West movies whip out their pistols.
It may depend on the customs wherever you are but handling the whole payment as discreetly as possible (e.g. excusing yourself to the bathroom and discreetly paying for everyone at the bar/counter on your way back) is the most polite form here. That's how my dad and other male relatives do it during family dinners, too. But we are very much a "talking about money is rude and tasteless"-culture.
If you are in a place where that's not possible and you have to ask for the check or it comes to the table automatically I would also expect a man to handle it as quickly, gracefully and discreetly as possible, aka paying the whole bill with a generous tip as soon as the check hits the table. The topic of payment should not even have a chance to come up and neither should you awkwardly glancing towards the check (or even seeing how much it is).
As a former waitress I can also say that we find it extremely annoying if we have to "hover" around the table for half an hour after the check came because people are taking their sweet time to leave. Chances are that there is a reservation after you, too, and people are waiting for your table or - if it's really late - we are trying to close up.
If he doesn’t take out his wallet immediately when the check arrives, he’s purposely shit-testing or embarrassing you.
agreed on check never hitting the table but also, i am not above straight up leaving if he doesn't immediately take out his wallet to pay when the check does.
haha I wrote that post 😂 I would say the check physically hitting the table is fine, but the guy should be immediately reaching to get his wallet to pay, preferably before the waiter even leaves. There definitely shouldn’t be this pause of “who’s going to pay”.