How much sex is normal in a relationship?

1-3 times a week every week?

Wow, I must have a low libido😂. For me wanting to have sex is tied very closely to my cycle with my sex drive being low but present and slowly rising between period and ovulation (= first half of the cycle), being in the "all day every day, let's never leave the bed" mood during the days around my ovulation and then my sex drive is basically nonexistent for the second half of my cycle and while I have my period.

And I do expect my partner to accomodate that. I'm not having sex to do someone a favor if I am not in the mood. If they want sex and I don't, they have hands. I do like other forms of intimacy like cuddling or receiving and giving (non-sexual) massages during the second half of my cycle, but not sex, it's more of a "nesting and grooming" phase for me.

So for me it's maybe 1,5 weeks of 1-2 times a week leading up to my ovulation, followed by 3 days of "let's do it all day!" while I ovulate, followed by around 2 weeks of no sex leading up to and during my period.

I’m remembering the scene in The Other Woman where she’s confronting her husband’s mistress and asks how many times they slept together, and then yells, “Fifty times? FIFTY TIMES? Don’t you have a job? Or hobbies? What’s wrong with you?” and nothing has ever resonated with me more.

Tbh when I was at my lowest points in life (stuck in a job I hated, no friends near me, no idea where I wanted my life to go), I was way, way more hyper sexual than I am now. Way more interested in sex, willing to put up with more BS to get it, and I honestly think it’s because it’s a quick hit of endorphins that nothing else in my life was giving me. When I have a job I enjoy, a direction in life, a healthy social life, exercising regularly, I’m just way less obsessed with sex. Because an orgasm with a guy who bought me fast food is no longer the most exciting thing that happened to me all week. Now, sex is competing with my alone time, my friends, my hobbies, my workout, all those things that make me happy and excited. In my personal experience, the more empty your life is, the more things like that stick out.

I always thought I had a low libido while I was with my abusive ex. Turns out it was just him, lol! Now I'm happily single and no one is constantly pressuring me it turns out I'm in the mood a lot more often than I would have thought. I could probably manage about twice a week most weeks as long as I'm not being followed around by a horny angry man. Weird how that works.

I think if we were in high value relationships most women would have a higher sex drive because we'd feel loved, desired and supported and that's sexy as hell.

I have no problems doing it multiple times 🙈 but it's absolutely not a requirement and I use toys anyways. Most men actually are more addicted to porn than actual sex. I find that it's actually rare for a man to be able to have sex multiple times a day consistently to be honest.

It's honestly up to both of you since everyone's libido can vary but it's a huge red flag if the man is not interested as much as you.

There is no right or wrong answer--it's completely up to the individual woman.

BUT...less is more, in my experience.

We all have different preferences, and external stresses from work or personal lives can impact libido. Also living farther apart or having different schedules can yield fewer opportunities. I would enjoy daily, but usually I get 1-4x/week. I don’t like any for a full week each month while menstruating.

Not all LVM are hypersexual. I had a LVM ex use withholding all physical affection and pleasure as a way to control me. He was ice cold. He could feel that I was attracted to him, and turned it around to say that all I wanted from him was sex, which was BS. I just wanted a crumb of reciprocated affection. Quantity of sex does not define HVM/LVM, but rather, does he make you feel loved and respected, or does he try to manipulate and hurt you in ways related to physical intimacy.

Yes, same here. Most of the week, I'm just exhausted with the day and want to hit the bed asap and drift off to sleep or do something by myself. Daily sex would just ironically turn me off, at that point. Idk how some people do it multiple times a day.

The crazy high libido of my past exes ruined mine, ironically. I wished for a man who would be satisfied with 2-3 times a month, which is probably a little on the low end, at least in the early stages. When I started dating my current boyfriend, I found myself MUCH more interested in sex, because he is so gentle and loving with me (and really knows how to make a woman feel good). So that has skewed my definition of "normal" a bit. We're currently at 2-3 times a week as a baseline, with some peaks and valleys in between (when we've both had a busy week it might only be once, if we spend lots of quality time together it might be 4 or 5 times). I expect the frequency to decrease a bit over time, but I'd still be fine with once or twice a week. I'd never thought I'd say this, but I feel regular sex (the loving, healthy kind anyway) is important to foster closeness. I start missing it when it's been too long without it. I am a very touchy person by nature though, so other women might feel differently.

I orgasm very easily, it only takes me a few minutes. Orgasms also help me sleep. Ideally I would orgasm almost everyday, but the frequency I want to have penetrative sex is tied to my menstrual cycle. Like I just want the guy to get me off (~3min), and then let me sleep.

Have you ladies ever met a guy who loved getting you off, even without his own orgasm?

1-3 times per week is perfectly adequate. Only people in brand new honeymoon-phase of relationship do it all the time.

I enjoy sex often, sometimes multiple times a day. Other times not at all, which I attribute to my hormones changing with age.

I don't feel pressured by my partner to have sex when I don't want to, and sometimes my cycles are wacky and there are some weeks where I'm simply uninterested in it and that's okay. It's because I'm in my late 30s and I'm hitting perimenopause.

I do most of the initiating. It's all entirely my choice.

If I had a partner who tried to pressure me...they wouldn't be my partner 😂

I really don't think libido is that gendered though. I know women can also have high libidos and I'm an example of that.

LV/scrotes are usually pornsick limp dick and cannot consistently perform with his wife IRL. He often gets to a point in the marriage where all he does is jerk off and secretly binge on SA films while claiming in couples therapy he doesn’t. 😵‍💫 Meanwhile she experiences a dead bedroom for the lost once or twice a week sex she maybe would have wanted had he not been such a smelly, revolting, lazy loser.

I don’t think it’s a high value or low value thing, I think it’s just a compatibility issue.

Hm… I would think that is very individual. Also depending on eachothers life situation, work, age and whether you live together or not. I think HVM could also want a lot of sex.