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I have of course picked up on the 3 month or “wait until in a relationship” rule when it comes to sex, but I don’t know that home address timeline has been discussed? And by extension, your last name (which would allow him to look up the address)?
I never thought much of it before, allowing a pickup after a few dates, or to help me bring home a piece of furniture, etc. etc. Now I don’t know. I don’t know if it’s the porn on demand or the swipe apps or what, but men seem to be a bit more of loose canons than they were even 10 years ago. I don’t even give out my real number now- I use Google Voice- until I’ve known him for a month or so.
I’m not so worried about him knowing where I live *while* we are dating…it is more that if I discover he’s whack, and end things, he may disturb my peace at my home base when I want to be done with him. If a guy is a real mess, historically, no one has been able to hide that from me for more than a few months, so at that point I feel pretty safe at least that he is not unhinged. But I don’t know if that’s excessive? What timeline are you all using for last name and home address? And prior to that, for any kind of home date (again, not sex necessarily, just something more low key after you’ve been dating a bit), at what point do you feel comfortable with hanging out at his?
Thanks!
I don’t provide my residential address unless we’re in an exclusive committed relationship. A man is a stranger to me until he proves otherwise. My home is my safe haven, only the most important people to me are allowed in my most sacred space. I also decided on a new boundary for myself this year that I will not allow a male I am dating to sleep over at my home unless we are engaged.
personally i will prolong them knowing my home address as much as possible, and if they have to know for whatever reason, i'll give them an approximate address and tell them my family will contact them if anything happens to me.
Great question. Wondering this as well. Very glad Texas Lawyer scrote lived a state over and several hours away just for this reason. Watching this thread to see what others say.
Everyone is going to have her own timeline here at FDS, but in my case personally, I wait until he's properly asked me to be my official boyfriend (3-6 months in) and I've properly met and vetted his friends and family, know more about him than just his astrology sign and what are his favorite things to do, and at least one vacation trip out somewhere for a few days so I know what he's like in a shared living space with me without the lease. Then he can come into my door of my home.
The same rule applies to my surname, I think at least after 8-12 weeks of seeing each other I can tell him since I've got nothing to hide in terms of criminality or strange behaviors.