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Hey lovelies ! I am new here not sure if this question is suitable or not. I’ll try. 😊
I am technically married for almost 7 years now. I am 34 F. I married this boy thinking he was a right match for me. Before that I had series of relationships none successful. This man was caring And good person but when I got married and started living together I realized he was very controlling to the extent he would get really sulky and aggressive when I will go out with my friends have drinks. This is just one example. There were many other incidences as well such as what I am wearing in front of his parents (he is a rigid Hindu belief).This was more related to his cultural beliefs which I wasn’t aware about earlier. Anyways three years into marriage there were lots and lots of fights and argument. I lost all my feelings for him including sexual attraction which was never too strong to begin with. I still tried to stay in marriage but I finally said to him that I wanted a separation. After that he completely changed and stopped all that controlling behaviour. He wanted to work things out. I gave him another chance and he is a changed person but I don’t feel love or sexual attraction towards him anymore. He has been okay for past 2 years but my feelings have completely gone. As separation is an irreversible decision I am confused should I stay or leave. I am okay financially and I don’t have kids. I think am scared to be alone also I am not getting any younger. I don’t have any family here in my country other than him. Thanks for reading this. Any advice will be appreciated. Lots of love
Hey there! You gotta ask yourself whether *you* personally are happy in such relationship where there's no sexual attraction. Is sexual life important to you? If it matters to you and you acknowledge sexual life as essential part of your relationship then absolutely do not waste your time, any minute you spend with someone you're not attracted to physically you could be investing into spending time looking for someone who's more compatible (and won't display bunch of massive red flags ever, hopefully). Best of luck to you ❤️
I’d end the relationship and fall in love with life. There’s so much to see, do and experience that you shouldn’t let a subpar relationship hold you back from. You are scared you’ll be alone, but it’s freedom you’ll be gaining.
I stayed in a loveless and sexless marriage for way too long and I wish now I had been more honest with myself and left years ago. Not only was I fooling my partner but I was fooling myself. I was afraid to leave, but now my peace of mind in being true to myself outweighs the false sense of security I once had in marriage. If you have the choice to be independent then go for it. Life is short and is there to be lived. Good luck
Do you really want to be in a loveless/sexless relationship? Do you get *anything* from this relationship that justifies staying together? It sounds like the marriage is already over and that you’re just going through the motions. Ask yourself why. Why am I willing to spend any portion of my life not doing what feels good to me? Sometimes that answer is “because the job pays the bills” or “I love my friend and am willing to go roller skating with her even tho I hate skating”. Wr learn to manage these uncomfortable situations because it’s for the greater good - income so you can support yourself and a solid friend. Ask yourself, “what’s the greater good that I am compromising for?” If the answer is “there is no greater good” then you know what you have to do next.
Hey girl - don't be afraid of being single in your mid 30's, it's actually pretty fucking awesome. Might take a little to get used to but you got this. You deserve a man who you have feelings for - who actually treats you right!