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@Medea linked an article about the pitfalls of early sex and how “the longer a dating couple waits to have sex, the better their relationship is after marriage.” The positive “effects are lessened but still consistent in those who became sexually active later in dating but prior to marriage,” but for those of us who still don’t want to have premarital sex, at what point do we bring up this boundary? Are there other ladies on here who share the same standard or are in marriages where you both waited?
Do we bring it up early as a nonnegotiable or wait until we’re committed? What’s the most strategic way to bring it up? Is there a way to find out he has issues with his dick without having PIV sex? Though with thorough vetting, we can deduce a healthy HVM wouldn’t have problems in that area, but as extra security, what can we do to ensure he’ll be a good and generous sexual partner?
FDS teaches us not to settle, so I don’t want to compromise my desire to only have sex with a HVM that’s invested in me and our relationship with marriage and my desire for sexual compatibility. Is it possible, though?
I would wait until you’re confident that there’s mutual interest in pursuing a serious relationship. Why tell a man who you go on a few dates with that you’re waiting until marriage for sex? That early, sex isn’t on the table anyway, and it’s private information that you don’t divulge to just anyone.
I feel like 3-6 months is reasonable. Make sure he can pick up on and respect your unspoken signals that sex is not an option first, then formally establish it later.
My friend and her husband waited, I think she brought it up when he brought up formalizing their relationship. She was very nervous to do so- but he didn't care (most men who like you won't)
To be honest, I'd tell him within a week of dating if it's a deal-breaker for you. Why waste your time?