How do you navigate 21st Century “Woke” dating culture?

He’s gay, 💯. My gay friends tell me that they can find women attractive, enjoy physical intimacy everywhere, but when it comes to the genital area, because they find vagina repulsive. I also know a few gay men who occasionally have sex with women, but say that they’ll never get the same kind of pleasure they get with men, and they would certainly not be able to love a woman.

Thank you! This is actually how i feel!

i believe fully straight men will always try to initiate sex. and if he doesn’t, it’s a redflag!

That could be it. I've seen it with my own eyes lol. A friend of mine invited me to her birthday party and there she introduced me to her friend (Danny). Danny was gay as hell from head to toe lol. We partied it up and the girls were twerking on him etc. Just living their best life lol.

At some point, I started to notice that Danny was getting a lil too close with one of my friends named Liz. Nothing too weird. They were just hugging and whispering in each other ears 💀. Next thing you know they completely disappear from the dance floor.

I start thinking that maybe they went downstairs for a couple of drinks...but 45 mins go by and they're still gone. I start freaking out...I didn't care too much for Danny...but I was terrified that Liz was out there drunk as hell. We all separate into groups to look for them but we couldn't find them at all. By the time we found Liz... she was smirking it up and her hair was all fucked up.... she didn't say a peep...... she thanked us and took an Uber home.

The next day Liz tells me that... she and Danny tongue kissed and groped each other for like an hour. I couldn't make sense of it at all lol. Like he was dancing with us as at the club to Madonna? MADONNA!

To save myself the headache I just said, "Okay well I'm glad you too we're safe" and dropped it 🤣.

I’ve thrown back both onto

the sea! 😂

Omg ! Yes. Thank you!

I am surrounded by so many people (friends and family) who are okay with “casual sex” turning into relationship and marriage etc. , i felt like a leprechaun!

meanwhile a friend and I who do follow FDS are often had to justify why we are still single and physically incapable to just do the detach sex and “see how it goes”. Because that is simply not what we want.

i’ve tried the “i’m sorry, i am only intimate in committed relationship” and had so many men just being pushy, trying to change my mind and pushing for explanation - which i always just dropped them. I’m so used to just saying “Demisexual” now, as men seemed to just “accept it” and those who looked for fast intimacy will run fast. But now i am stuck with men who would waste my time by being able to keep the facade longer! 🤦🏻‍♀️

You need to stop explaining yourself to people. You don’t owe anyone an explanation or justification of your standards and boundaries. They are yours to enforce and if people don’t respect them, it is your job to remove those people from your life. If you’re spiritual/religious, what I find helps me if I am tempted to explain myself is a reminder that the only explanation I owe is that to my creator. No one else. People often think that having boundaries means forcing people to comply with them. No, the reality is that if someone cares about you, they will respect your boundaries, if they do not, it is your job to enforce realistic consequences. Just stop explaining yourself, you will drive yourself insane with this whole “communicate” bullshit. Another point I forgot to state before is that you mentioned that it is your fault you didn’t have the “exclusivity talk”. FDS does not advocate this. It is your job to ruthlessly vet while the man reveals himself. HE is the one who should be clearly attempting to establish exclusivity. If he does not raise the topic within 3 months, then it is your job to next him. If you raise the exclusivity topic, that is no different to you asking him out, pursuing him, and carrying the relationship. Do not do this. Be careful with revealing your hand. When a man asks me what I am looking for in a relationship, I state “I’ll know when I see it.” If he’s pushy and not accepting my response, that is a red flag and creepily pushy. Our job as women is to vet, not to explain ourselves. The male is there to prove himself as a suitable candidate to be our partner. Don’t fall into that trap where you try to prove yourself worthy. Female led relationships are always going to result in a power imbalance. Male led relationships do not mean you’re any less of a feminist as a HVM will establish an equitable dynamic and sees you as his equal while pursuing you. I suggest you listen to the Pod if you haven’t and have a read through the handbook to refresh yourself from falling for libfem conditioning.

Like creamtart said, you don't owe them shit. The reason could be anything legitimate or super dumb. They don't give a shit. These scrotes will push your boundaries just to get in your pants. We women have been socialized to not hurt people's feelings or over-explain by giving some super duper reason to gently turn down an invitation. Stop apologizing too. They don't deserve any apology for being entitled, demanding access to women. Fuck that shit. Let them eat dirt lmao. If they mad, they can stay mad. That means the boundaries are working, so say NO, more. Laugh and walk away.