.png)
I'm not a sucker for love, even though Romance like from the Addams family and twilight is my cup of tea.
I value respect 100 times more. But I just saw a video on the Black Obsidian channel and a scrote pretty much said " We men" When he described why men sleep with women they don't like, It's for domination and get back at her before they dump. Pickme's always come to a man's defense and say not all of them are like that like this but I also know most men are excellent liars, Sure their actions always reveal the truth but the nice guy act is always on point until it reaches the 1 year mark, that's where Men's facade that they care about you starts to waver and their true nature comes forward, but the problem is around that time you already invested time in him, went on dates and pretty much developed the need to be his partner and you will try to make things work even though you know deep inside it's done but he's too much of a coward to break things off with you and the hot and cold mentality starts to become very dominant with men. I promised myself that I will never go back to my pickme ways, or be patient with men who make me feel im replaceable, as soon as disrespect is served its block and delete, Because one thing I've learned from FDS is that men behave a certain way or do things to you because they want to, Not because of a bad childhood, not because of stress, because of anxiety or sob stories, They wanted to do that, they allowed it and there is no redeemable excuse. Good men don't need a second chance because they already to very well on their first try.
But over the years I grew a bit stoic towards men, Some months ago a dude claimed that he loves me and I pretty much said " To How many women have you lied to ? and how many were actually dumb enough to believe that you love them? I'm not one of them"
Sure I got some slack saying that I'm being unnecessary cruel to nice guys but I can't help myself after all the crap I had to endure because of them.
On the other hand, I do want to know what it's like to be in a relationship that enriches my life. I was told to look through the lens of FDS only but like I said Men are excellent scam artists.
answer: you don't.
men are not only trash, they are worse. if there's one thing i've learned from my experiences, from the experiences of other women ( friends aND strangers) and from *statistics* is that men are dangerous.
the fact that FDS revolves around vetting constantly proves to me that looking for love from a man is nothing but stress. and science shows that stress is directly related to depression.
"not all men", sure. but how can i know which ones? "vetting" you'll say. well, how can love and companioship be a fulfilling experience when i have to sleep with one eye opened all the time? how can i be open for love when the man who i'm supposed to trust can end up murdering me? best case scenario, i'll be attached to someone who will die before me (because female life expectation is higher than male's) and i'll end up alone anyways.
i'm so tired of seeing the same things happening again and again. the guy lied to get laid, porn addict (or at least expects real sex to be just like porn), wants a mommy mcbangmaid, cheater, bad husband, bad father, wants pseudogirlfriends (who here has never been a pseudogirlfriend to some LV piede of shit??). Guy was abusive, left women traumatized and scarred for life, went on to find another victim as if nothing had happened. it's revolting!
and if one day a HVM crosses my way, i won't see him because i won't be able to trust him. if i can't ever let my guard down, then there isn't such a thing as a HVM because he might seem pretty HV for a while, and then at some point he'll show his true colors. then it will be too late for me. already in love, already too engaged. the process of getting out of it will be more difficult. i'll have to rebuild myself all over again.
all of this makes us feel stupid everytime we find ourselves with a LVM. "i ignored the red flags. I let this happen. I didn't level up properly. I should know better."
men make our life harder than it has to be. i too want love, but the price i'd have to pay is way too high. i'd rather have peace. (sorry about the rant, i just wanted tojustify my answer to your question)
So well written and just experienced what you described here. The abuse came full force near the 1 year mark. I’m so glad and relieved to be free but it pisses me off that men think they can get away with treating us like shit and manipulating us without any repercussions.
equally abusive that they gaslight you in top of it and try to victimize themselves instead
While words matching actions are very important, it's also necessary to watch a man's body language, the look on his face when he says things to you, whether he has light in his eyes, and just the general feeling you have around him. Are you anxious and nervous around him? Do you feel relaxed, or are you walking on eggshells? Do you get into a trance around guys when they start abusing you, and it's hard to even think or know what to do? I tend to get into a trance when men abuse me. It's like I can't believe what's happening l, and I oftentimes just shut down and get very quiet until I can get away from him. The way I'll know he's good for my life is that I'll feel comfortable, safe, and protected. If you're honest with yourself, you can easily discern this and whether this man will be there for you. You can feel their duplicity if you just let it and you don't 2nd guess your feelings. Ask yourself, "Does this guy really love me? Would he be there for me if I got pregnant? Would I become a single mother with this guy?" If you honestly answer those questions, you know whether to stay or not.
Yeah, best not to believe their words. It's actions that matter, but sometimes I get sucked in too.